𝐆𝐋𝐔𝐄 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆, 𝐉.𝐎

'i'll survive, i always do'

𝘪𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 -
𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘢𝘯 𝘶𝘯𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘶𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘭 𝘰𝘤𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦. 𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘭 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘭 𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘯𝘰 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘳.

word count - 1034

you're pushing through body after body in the school hallway. trying your best to make your way to the bathrooms. but the people were never-ending, and the school seemed to stretch for miles. tears began to form in your eyes but you blinked them away before they were even recognized on your face.

finally, the bathrooms were in your sight. you could tell people were talking, maybe even yelling in the hallways, but they were quiet. more muffled by your headphones. you shoved the bathroom door open, locking it as it closed.

yes, it was a public girls' restroom, but who cares?  you locked yourself in the huge stall at the end of the bathroom. trying your best to steady your breathing, your back hit the tiled wall as you slid down it. your head landing in your hands, knees up to your chest.

but then, through your headphones, there was a voice. you ripped them off your head and they wrapped around your neck. that's when your suspension was confirmed.

"uh hello? is there a reason you locked the two of us in the bathroom?" the voice said. you didn't recognize it.

shit.

shit, shit shit!

there's no coming back from locking the bathroom door with someone in it. you couldn't come up with a believable story in the next 30 seconds, so honesty is the best policy.

"my bad... you can leave i didn't think anyone was in here," you croaked. it sounded like you were crying. which you were about to do until you were interrupted. but of course, to your dismay whoever was on the other side of the door grew concerned, walking toward your stall.

"hey, are you okay? i don't think we know each other but if you need anything i'm here," there was concern laced in the voice. which, for an odd reason made you angry. you wanted to be alone. that's why you locked yourself in the bathroom.

"im fine," you replied sternly. just praying the person would go away and leave you to your thoughts.

you began to slip your headphones back over your ears, and that's when you heard the voice again.

"i know a fake 'i'm fine' anywhere. open the door before i kick it down," you hear a hand hit the door. you jump a bit, not knowing how to approach this situation. so you stood up, making your way to the stall door.

"i'm seriously fine, but if you insist." you reached for the lock, hesitating. the lock makes a satisfying click as it comes undone. "jenna?" you questioned. embarrassment hit you like a bullet train.

it was jenna. jenna ortega. the girl practically the whole school knew you were crushing on for the entirety of the middle school. but that's in the past. you're sophomores now. it's very likely she forgot. not who you were, but that crush thing. you still had a few classes together, though you never spoke.

you were friends once upon a time. good friends. then middle school hit, and people drift apart. and rumors start.

"y/n, you look like you've been crying... what happened?" she took a step toward you, her hands resting on your shoulders. she was very worried about you. but you reminded yourself, she cares about everyone. if it was anyone else in this bathroom she would have done the same thing.

"thank you for your concern... but i'm really fine," you mumbled, it was unnatural talking to her again. you hadn't spoken in years.

"y/n. we may not really talk anymore, but we were friends long enough for me to know something up." she began walking you backward into the stall. that's when your back went cold from the tile again. she had pressed you against the wall. you let out a small chuckle as you attempted to detach her hands from your shoulders.

"if i didn't know any better i'd think you're trying to make out with me," you looked down, removing her hands from yourself as you continued to insist that you were fine. you finally got her hands off you. it was an accomplishment that was short-lived. because she instantly put her hands on either side of your face. 

"y/n please talk to me, you can't keep everything to yourself," you had her undivided attention. and it angered you.

"oh yeah? watch me. i'll survive jenna, i always do. with or without you." you were stern. the tears had long since left your eyes. you weren't upset anymore, only angry. was she trying to help you? after you have repeatedly said that you are fine.

then you pushed your way past her, leaving the bathroom stall. you weren't keeping everything in your head away from her in fear, or insecurity, no. now you kept it from her in spite. she thought she could tell you how to live your life, how to deal with your emotions.

she can't do that. no one can. only you get to decide how to cope with these things. you were about to unlock the door and exist when jenna yanked you back. her arm came around your waist while the other held your head against her chest.

she moved back and placed herself against another part of the wall, sliding down it like you once had. she cradled you in her arms. something about the atmosphere changed, it wasn't enraging anymore. it was disarming, you felt safe, like you could be vulnerable here.

"you don't have to tell me what's going on. i'm sorry i made you feel like you did." jenna muttered against your forehead. she tightened her grip even so slightly, keeping you in place. "but please just know that i'm here, and even if we aren't close anymore i still care about you y/n."

your eyes began to well with tears, but you still refused to cry. but that reality was short-lived as the tears fell from your eyes. you let out quiet sobs against jennas chest. she rocked back and forth with you, in her best attempt at calming you.

"oh baby..." she whispered, stilling rocking with you. she stayed there, with you, in that bathroom for as long as you needed.

~~~