Royal Arrangement

36) KABIR~ the letter by the mirror

I couldn't take my eyes off of sleeping Nalini. I wished I could tell her what I had on my mind for her. I wished I could wake her up and say that it wasn't over. I was way too used to her now, and I didn't want her to leave. I knew what was bothering her. I knew it was all over her face that she knew it was time that six months were over.

I gulped gently as I kissed the top of her head. "You deserve so much better. Better than a typical egoistic confession and I promise I will give you better." I muttered before I pulled myself back on my feet and pulled out my notepad from the nightstand. I smiled as I wrote something I wouldn't be able to say looking in her pretty eyes. Those eyes which made me feel all giddy, all worked up.

'I know you think it's over. But it has just began. Please, wait for me.
To my Love- Kabir.'

The last line was way to intimate. The last line was way too cheesy. I bit my lip before I folded it neatly and placed it on the nightstand. I looked at her once again before I left smiling like a fool. I had a whole day planned for me but it was all for her.
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I stepped out of the cafe, with a bag full of chocolates. Oh the sun was setting, I was running late. I was so looking forward to go back home to Nalini. I spotted a florist making fresh flower baskets. I tucked my tongue on the inside of my cheeks.

A wave of emotions running in my chest. It had been ages since I have felt this nervousness build inside me. This youthful nervousness of confessions. The nervousness of the teenage that blossoms within you. The kind of nervousness that's makes you all excited.

I walked to the flower shop and spotted the white roses among all colourful flowers. They reminded me of her, so much of her. Her innocence, her chastity, her purity. The white that looked so good on her skin. The white that made my heart beat louder. The white that reminded me of the jasmines she smelled like, my comfort scent.

I picked the bouquet up and stared at the white roses. "Can I have a bouquet of these, please?" I asked and the lady nodded. She smiled gently as she wrapped them up. I sighed and pulled out my phone. I clicked a picture of the sunset and sent it to Nalini.
"Missing me?" I muttered under my breath as I sent her the text.

It was weird, Nalini hadn't been answering any of my texts except a "No" I received.
I didn't know which question she answered. If she was not doing good or if she didn't read the note I left. Neither of them were a good option for me.

I tucked my phone back inside as I made the payment and walked towards my car parked on the side of the road. I drove back home, my thumb constantly tapping on the steering wheel, there was still no reply from Nalini. I wonder if she was upset about something. It hadn't happened in the past few months. My messages were always answered, maybe she was busy in something. I justified myself even when the tiniest part of me was expecting the worst.
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I walked inside the mansion. My heart thumped in my chest as I noticed how all the workers were waiting for me, lined up. Their heads hung low. It was such a mournful atmosphere. It was such a disaster in my heart.

I ignored them as I paced upstairs. My hands full with a bouquet and other with a bag of chocolates that I bought as a bargain. My numbness surfacing me with every step I took towards our nearing room. Usually Nalini was there, doing something yet waiting for me, maybe not waiting for me but just being there.

I didn't want to assume the worst yet I looked back at the servants, they didn't move. They were still, looking down at their feet and I didn't know they were searching for what. I just hoped it won't be the shattered pieces of the hope that was finding itself in me.