23 ❥ Ostrich Brains

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To say things were awkward the next time we sat in class together was a bit of an understatement

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To say things were awkward the next time we sat in class together was a bit of an understatement. Just for me of course. I doubt Roman ever felt awkward in a people situation. He came in silent and stayed silent. I didn't know what to say to him.

I'm not going to lie, I was hurt by his very sudden dismissal. Not just the fact that he told me to go home but it was how he said it too. It threw me in a loop, especially considering how gentle he had been with me these past few days.

Because recently, it felt like I was finally seeing a different side to him. Now, it just felt like we had taken ten steps back after last night and I didn't know how to approach the situation. So instead, I'm awkward and quiet.

I'm not an idiot. I could obviously see something was very wrong in his relationship with his mother. It took me back to his words in the library when he told me sometimes he wished he didn't know his mother. And then she shows up at his front door and he flips a switch with me?

So I know whatever it was, it wasn't necessarily about me. I understood that. And I wanted to ask him if he was okay but...

I glanced over at him to find his eyes on me already. How long had he been looking at me? I blink a few times and turn away. I try not to dig my teeth too deep into my lip. Then, I try and focus on Mrs. Jericho's lecture instead.

But then I focus on the last of her lecture just as she sends us into our free work. I suppose my nerves make my leg bounce. Only I don't notice this until Roman firmly grips my knee.

I meet his gaze and for the first time, he speaks to me. "Relax."

That's it. One single word. Relax. And that one word made me do the exact opposite.

My stare turned into a silent frown. It was sort of a confused frown but the sort that said something like what the fuck do you mean relax? I was giving him the chance to say something first, to say anything else other than relax.

Roman shook his head and took a breath. He opened his mouth to say something to me and then Mrs. Jericho interrupted with something to add to her lesson.

My shoulder deflated in disappointment but I quickly brushed it off and focused back on the lesson. By the end of class, I was so nervous about what he was going to say and I realized that I was way too wound up to have any sort of conversation with him at the moment.

So when the release bell rang I bolted.

>><<>><<>><<>><<

It was lunchtime. I was in my usual spot at the library, swinging my laces across the carpet and tapping my fingers across the cover of the book I had yet to open. My eyes stayed on my laces as my mind wandered.

I felt the presence of someone before they kneeled down on the floor. Then, two large hands reached for my laces and began to tie them. I watched as he adjusted the tongue of my converse before tightening the crosses. He tied them into a snug fit and then threw his backpack on the couch beside me before sitting down.

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