All my fault

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Greyson led us to Aidan's room and I followed closely behind, Axel walked next to Greyson and Claire stayed behind with me. I looked over at her s few times to see her crying, but I just decided not to mention anything to her.
I was starting to dread telling Ashton more and more as we got closer, but he had to know and soon. And besides I made that promise to Aidan and I don't intend to break it. A picture of his dying self appeared in my mind which brought tears to my eyes which I quickly rubbed them away at seeing the door to his room.

Greyson tried opening the door but it wouldn't budge so instead he kicked the door with his foot and it swung open. Ashton stood up from where he was sitting at seeing us "What the hell! How did you get in you don't have the key?" Aidan looked round at us "No but he has a foot" I heard Axel say.

"So what's with the sudden intrusion? Did you get the pizza Rose I am starvinggg!" He was now looking straight at me, I just looked down at the floor awkwardly fighting back a sob that was desperate to come out. "Something happened at the house" Claire quickly said.
I sat next to Ashton on the bed and began to explain to him everything that had happened and by the end I couldn't fight back my sobs and cries anymore. He just stared at me as water begins to collect at the bottom lid of his eye, his bottom lip starts to tremble slightly, I could tell he was unable to believe anything I just said. I expected him to storm out but instead he pulled me into a tight hug and cried into my shoulder. "It's okay" I whisper "Im so sorry you had to see that" he said to me sniffling in between words "It must have been horrible" I didn't reply to that instead I just tightened my grip on him, and looked up at the tears streaming down his face. "You know Aidan made me promise to tell you that if you misbehave he'll haunt you as a ghost" I had let go of him now.

"It was one of his last words, you know he really does love you a lot and you deserved more time with him." I say in a whimper "We all did." He added not bothering to look at me. "You know it should have been me. Not him, he didn't deserve to die like that" somehow I had gotten the tears to come to a stop "Does it hurt?" he asked me suddenly a lone tear gliding down his face as he looks down at me.

"I try so hard to be strong. But why do I have to be strong all the time? Sometimes I just want to let go, but I'm scared. Im scared if I feel too much it will break me even more." behind me my siblings were giving me pitying looks, Greyson just looked angry. "You can stay at my room if you want" Claire crossed the room to where Ashton and I were and sat next to us. "Ok, thank you can we please go now?" I ask her and she helps me up and we leave the boys in the room as we walked out the door.

___________________________

I was still shaking when I got into bed next to Claire, I couldn't even close my eyes because every time I would close them for even a second I would see his face or I would see Chris or Lena being killed. I would just keep seeing the blood and the same masked people over and over again. Claire tried to comfort me but nothing seemed to help. I didn't get much sleep that night.

"Are you gonna go to breakfast?" Claire asked me in the morning

"Probably not" for some reason I really wasn't hungry, the thought of it just disgusted me to be honest. She just gave a weak nod "Are you sure you'll be alright here by yourself? You know you have classes today anyway"

"Look I get why you're worried but there's no need to. I fine!" I knew I was lying to myself and her but she probably knew that anyway so instead of arguing with me she just turned to leave. I looked down at my hands to see red, dried blood. I can't believe I didn't wash it off yesterday. I can't stand looking at it anymore. I got up from my bed and walked towards the bathroom to wash it off. I looked at myself in the mirror to see my face was drenched in blood too. I searched for soap "Where the hell is the soap!" I searched through everything but just found empty soap wrappers. Of course she had just run out. I sighed and just decided to use the soap they keep in the toilets downstairs. I didn't bother getting changed, it's not like Claire's clothes would fit me anyway. I remember Nick showing me the toilets on the first floor near the cafeteria, so I just directed myself there from what I remembered.

The toilets really stunk, it made me want to gag but luckily at least there was plenty of soap here. I scrubbed the block of soap against my stained red hands frantically trying to get it off. This is definitely going to stain. I just kept rubbing angrily which brought tears back into my eyes. I felt a single tear roll down my cheek and my throat beginning to close up. I let out a loud sob and continued to rub off the blood that just didn't want to come off until I heard the door swing open and someone come in. "What are you doing?" I heard a deep husky voice say. I installs recognised that voice but I didn't bother looking at him. I started scrubbing my face trying to get the remainder of the blood off. "Tell me what the hell happened!" I ignored him "JUST TELL ME DAMN IT!" He grabbed my arm and turned my face to his. I saw his light green eyes staring at mine. It was Tyler of course. "Just leave me alone!" I yelled turning back to the mirror. He lightly grabbed me face and started inspecting it "Have you been crying? Why have you been crying?" he looked worried now

I pushed his hand away but he grabbed my arm again and lifted it up. He saw my blood-covered hand "I'm not going to ask again and if you don't tell me right now I will figure it out for myself anyway" I just stayed silent and picked up the block of soap with my free hand. He snatched it from me. "Hey! Give that back!"

"Not until you tell me what happened and why you aren't at breakfast" he was holding the soap up high in the air, keeping it out of my reach. I really didn't feel like weeping to him about my problems, I'm seriously tired of crying. At not hearing a response he just rolled his eyes and took my hand and started rubbing the soap against it. "What are you doing?" I ask him

"Helping you" he said it in an almost 'duh' tone

"I don't need your help, I don't even like you, in fact I hate you for what you said to me!" I tried yanking my hand out from his grasp but he just tightened his grip on it instead. "Well I don't necessarily like you either, but I don't like seeing you hurt. I don't know why but for some reason it just feels right" he said, actually surprising me "And I'm sorry about what I said, honestly I don't know why it affected you so much  but I'm sorry anyway"

" Especially because I know how it feels like to hate a father" with that he got up and left. I looked down at my hands, that were now completely clean.

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