chapter 57 | Laila

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Happy.

I'm a little happy that I'm going to be seeing Laila today in the hospital.

I've been really tired and when I haven't been sleeping I've been taking care of Levi.

Kai tries to help but I just want to be with my baby boy so I don't take the help.

He sits on the couch most times and just stares into space.

Were both hurt.

I look down to my baby boy and he looks up at me as he lays in my arms.

He makes the cutest noises ever and it makes my heart melt into pieces.

I think that Kai has only held him once since he was born and he has been here for 2 days.

I brush his little hair out of his face as I look at him and his cute face.

The door opens and Laila comes running in along with Charlotte.

Laila runs up to my bed as Kai looks up and walks quickly to his mother and hugs her tightly.

I see his body shake with sobs as I turn to Laila.

"Mommy, is that my brother?," she asks me and I nod my head at her.

"Yes, his name is Levi," I say, she stares at him curiously before she kisses his face.

"He's tute," she mumbles as she plays with his little baby hand.

A big part of my grief is feeling like I need to be with Levi at all times or he's going to go with his sister.

I think it's my anxiety or just a fear but I always check if he's breathing and need to be around him.

I want to comfort Kai but how do I comfort him when I am not even well myself.

He just stares there all day and doesn't sleep.

If he sees that I saw him crying he wipes his face and just holds it in so I don't see it.

Laila starts to move his arm around as she looks at him and he just stares at her.

"He mean, why tute but mean?," she says.

"He's not mean he just can't really smile yet or laugh," I say to her and she nods her head.

"I go see daddy," Laila runs and slams into his legs as he pulls himself away from his mom.

He picks Laila up and hugs her as he kisses all over her face making her laugh.

I watch them interact and it's the sweetest thing I've ever seen.

It's time to feed Levi so I pick him up and put him under my shirt as I let him latch onto me.

He starts to eat happily as I look up at everyone.

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