In This Town

April 30, 2022

Alexa•

All I want is to die. I know I should have expected that this was going to happen, but my own imagination could have ever created how awful this would be.

I text Charlie and Sarah, telling them that I told him. They immediately let me know they're coming over, with ice cream, and a shit ton of wine. Just what I need.

I change out of my clothes, into a pair of shorts, and a sweatshirt, pulling my hair into a loose braid.

The knock on the door is expected, but I'm still trying to pull myself together. All I want right now is my daughter in my arms, the love of my life not to hate me, and for all of this to be a terrible nightmare.

The two girls stand on the porch, another behind them. Sadie. Possibly one of the last people, but also one of the first, I would want to be here.

"Aw Lex," Sarah says, pulling me into a hug. I try to hold back tears, but it's too much to handle, and I break all over again.

"Hey, it's gonna be alright." Charlie comforts.

"Come in..." I cry." This is not the place I need to be sobbing." I laugh, through the tears. They chuckle with me.

"So, he didn't take it well?" Sadie questions, sitting across from me.

"Not at all. I'm pretty sure he's going to hate me for the rest of my life." I claim, as Charlie hands me a glass of wine. I take a huge sip, before setting it back down.

"Well, Alexa, I know it seems like that right now, but we all know Jamison. He's going to get over it. He still loves you, and you know it,"

"Yeah, he loved me two weeks ago, when he didn't know that I was lying to him about him having a child. Now?" I scoff. "Now he won't even look me in the eyes." I explain.

"Okay, even if he doesn't, you two still have a kid together, and you've got to make it work, simply for her sake." Sadie claims. She's very to the point. I like it.

"Right. Which is the thing I'm most worried about now. What if Evie hates me? She's been with a dad for so long, because I stole that from her. What if she doesn't forgive me? What if she loves him more than she loves me?" I cry. I know it seems selfish, but Evie has been mine, and only mine, for the last six years. It's hard seeing her go with someone else, and loving him too. I wish it was me she would hug like that, and smile every time she sees me. But I'm just her boring, old mom. She's had enough of me to last her a lifetime.

"God Alexa, that girl is not going to hate you." Sarah rolls her eyes. "You think too much. And I know just how to fix that." She smirks, Charlie and Sadie catching on much quicker than I do.

"We're going to the bar, and we have just the outfit for you." Charlie smiles, slowly revealing a deep red dress. It's stunning.

She hands it to me, and as much as I want to sulk around for the rest of my life, I know I can't. So, I can say 'fuck it' and go get drunk.

I slip the dress on, much skimpier than I thought it would, but I love it. I look hot.

I match a pair of black heels, and a small handbag to the outfit, before slipping out the door with my friends.