Say My Name (bxb)

Chapter 7: "He's Not Worth It"

A/N: I dedicate this chapter to my very first readers Koshi_07 and wh4twh0wh3n, who always make me cry and laugh with their comments. *hugs*

Jem was quite knowledgeable about who was queer and who was not. Even though she joked she wasn't, she could warn me off the straight guys and point me in the right direction, like a metal rod that showed you where to look for metal. It was kinda ironic that a girl had a better gaydar than me, but oh well. It is what it is.

Heat was a club like any other, with tons of young people drinking and gyrating under the music, like some kind of crazed mating ritual, which well, it was. It reminded me of that 'do it like they do on the Discovery channel' song. What was the name though?

Anyway, I was very pleasantly buzzed, thank you very much.

I didn't normally go to clubs, never had, but I was in college now, which meant I had to come out of my shell and try new things, especially if I wanted to get laid at some point. Being a virgin sucked. Not that one had to have their ass pounded to be gay, not at all, I just knew I would like it if I found the right partner. Which I never did before, so why would I now?

Ugh, sometimes I just wanted to get it over with.

There was a gay app on my phone I never actually checked, but maybe if I just answered one message, I could get someone to pop the cherry already. Was there a gay alternative to pop-the-cherry? Slip the wiener?

But what if it hurt? What if the guy was rough? What if he did it and then left me there?

Shit, I was scared. Plain and simple.

"That guy over there is checking you out," Jem hissed.

We were at the bar, drinking shots—I only had one because that was enough to get me even more buzzed—and when I looked at the guy she pointed at, he really was looking at me. He was taller, wider, maybe older, but kind of sexy with his trimmed beard and intense stare. He wore a nice black shirt that hugged his body and he drank whiskey.

Hmm... maybe I could do this?

That's when I remembered that Davis was there. Somewhere. Could I do this in front of people who knew me? I looked around frantically and saw Davis talking to his friend Emma, albeit a little too close together. I noticed Emma was pushing herself into him a little, into his personal space.

I swallowed painfully.

"Hey, come on, he's not worth it," Jem said.

I looked at her. "What do you mean?"

"That guy Davis is a cock-tease. He's never gonna do anything about it. You shouldn't let him get to you, okay? You deserve better."

Her eyes were kind and her smile was nice, and even though she could be kind of blunt, I really felt as though she was my friend already. I had someone looking out for me, and that meant a lot more than I'd realized.

"Thanks," I said, smiling.

"Now go get yours." She winked.

I shook my head, laughing. So what if Davis saw? We weren't friends, not really, and if he really was my friend, maybe he wouldn't be stupid like Patrick had been. On the other hand, if he was a homophobe, then good riddance.

I'd finally be rid of the baby duck following me everywhere.

I felt brave on the wings of alcohol, so I walked slowly to where the guy was, and he followed my every step with his hungry eyes. A slow smile bloomed on his face, a knowing smile. He closed the distance.