Useless | Draco Malfoy

Memory 16

March, 1998

There she stood, right next to the grave of Florence Abella. Her own mother.

She always found herself here in these situations... When she wanted to disappear forever.

"Mother..." Tears spilled from Eden's eyes as she fell to her knees and put one hand on the stone, the other on her chest right beside her fast beating heart.

Everything fell from her grasp. Her bag almost spilled all of the clothing inside.

"I-I'm such a h-horrible person..."

Chest tight.

Eyes blurred and burning.

Voice raspy and cracking with every sharp inhale.

It was uncontrollable at that point. She couldn't stop herself. The sobs were ripping through her and there was nothing she could do about it.

"They hate me. God I'm so useless!" Her hands balled up into fists and she suddenly started banging her right fist onto her knees extremely hard. Hard enough to leave a mark or bruise. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry I couldn't be better. I'm sorry this is the way I have turned out.. You deserve a better daughter."

Would this feeling ever stop?

In the moment it felt like it would go on forever, eating at her until she had no more tears left to cry and no more breaths left to take.

"I'm such a fuck up. I'm sorry... I'm sorry-"

Hermione was right.

You are the weakest link.

Just look at you now, crying over your mother's grave after a little argument where you were most likely in the wrong anyway. She was right about you being selfish and stupid. She was right about everything.

That slap in the face was deserved.

The intrusive thought was beginning to roll in now. The one she always thought when she was in this kind of argument...

Kill yourself to make her feel bad. She deserves the guilt and pain of knowing she was the reason you're gone.

The thought kept repeating in her head as she tried to catch her breath, but nothing worked.

Nothing was helping.

Her mind was going completely blank and now the only thing in it were the thoughts of her offing herself to make a point or the ones of her breaking her bones or digging a knife into her leg just to feel the pain she knew she merited.

With her cries and the ringing in her ears because of it, she failed to realize someone else was there, calling her name repeatedly but getting no response out of her.

They placed their hand on her shoulder, making her gasp and turn around, falling further and placing her hands on the ground to keep her up.

"What's happened to you Eden. What's wrong? Tell me."

"I-I can't-"

"Breathe Abella."

His voice was calming. It brought her focus to him.

The boy knelt down onto the ground right in front of her. "Can you breathe?"

She shook her head and gripped onto his upper arms using him as a support while his hands went for the sides of her torso in order to keep her upright. "N-No."

"Alright...  Just relax. I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere."

"Draco-"  Eden shook her head and got balanced on her knees.  She quickly wrapped her arms around him and cried into his chest with the comfort of his arms wrapped around her tiny self.  "Draco I can't-"