Love Interrupted

Part 7 - Surrender

I paced around my room for an hour going back and forth between tears of pain, tears of anger and confusion. I had to understand. If he was truly in love with this girl, I was going to have to let him go and wish him well. It's not like he and I were a couple and he cheated on me. I clearly had some unfair and unrealistic expectations of him. And if I loved him like I had always thought I did, then I needed to be happy for him. Oh, how it hurt. It was time to let him go; for real this time. I need to let myself feel the hurt of letting go so I can heal from this one-sided love affair.

I scrolled through our shared social site to Amir's page. Something told me he would have his phone number listed there. I was right. "Hi, this is Erin. Send me Darren's number please." Send text.

He replied with the number quickly and followed up with "I'm sorry. Hope you guys work things out." I just sent a thumbs up. I didn't want to get into anything with him at the moment.

To Darren, I wrote, "It's Erin. I know you heard where I am staying. Room 223 if you want to talk." Send. Followed up with, "C'mon, I know you're not sleeping. Old Man."  because I knew that would get his attention.

It worked.  "Okay, Kid."

I paced the floor waiting for him to get there. My nerves were fried but I was determined to make sure he knew I was okay with his choice. I wasn't, but I had try, right? He must have broken speed laws to get there because it couldn't have been more than two minutes before he knocked on the door. I took a deep breath, steeling my will and let him in. His hair was pulled back into a ponytail at the base of his skull but several strands hung loosely around his strong face. His blue eyes danced, contrasted by the redness of their whites. Had he been crying? Was he angry?

He stepped in saying, "I'm sorry. Believe me, it's not what it..."

"It's okay, Darren." I stopped him before he could rattle off any further explanation. I wanted an explanation, of course, but I didn't need one. He didn't owe me one. I had to say what I planned to say before I lost my nerve. "Look, I'm sorry I invited you this late. I couldn't really sleep unless I... so... Thanks for coming."

"Look, about my engagement..." he began.

I raised my hand to silence him. I didn't want to talk about it. "I'm a big girl. I'm not a love-sick teenager anymore. I'm old enough to understand."

"But it's not..."

"Seriously, Darren; I get it." I insisted. "You are twenty-four years old. You are allowed to fall in love. Even if it is with a child. You are allowed to have..."

"Oh, for the love of God; will you shut up and listen to me?! Please?" He grabbed me by the shoulders and looked at me with his imploring eyes. I glanced at his hands and he let go. Hands raised in surrender. "Please." "It's not what you think. It's not what anyone thinks." 'Okay, fine. Let's hear it, then.' He rubbed the back of his neck. His Bon Jovi t-shirt hugged the contours of his chest and my mind was suddenly filled with lust filled obscenities. "The baby isn't mine. I swear."

"Baby?" Ice stabbed through my veins with those words. "I knew it?!! I knew her dad wouldn't be allowing this unless she was knocked up! Asshole!! She's just a kid." I punched him in the chest as hard as I could.

"I didn't do it!" He yelled, grabbing my wrists to arrest my assault. "It's not mine. I promise, it's not mine."

"How can you say that, Darren?" I fired back. "Why would you marry her if it was someone else's baby?"

"It's complicated. Kind of a long story. Look, she... I mean, Amir..." He let me go and dropped to edge of the bed.

'Amir? What does he have to do with this? Is it Amir's baby? Is that why he was only one to talk about her at the pizza place. That almost makes sense. He did seem to light up when he talked about her.' As my mind ran through a myriad of scenarios, I missed most of Darren's story. I came back to myself mid-sentence.