My Best Friend, Jack ✓

15. Complicated

The next day at school didn't really answer my question. In fact, it probably made the answer even more confusing. After lunch, I had a free period so I went and took a seat high up in the bleachers, at the very back row. I knew Jack had basketball practise after lunch during gym class, so I thought I might watch him play. 

I pulled out my sketch book and pencils from my bag and began doodling, waiting for the big, red double doors to open. I was a little bit early and the gym felt eerily silent. I wasn't used to it at all. As the doors creaked open, I glanced up and saw Mia enter the gym. I watched as she climbed the stairs and took a seat beside me. 

"Hey, stranger" she smiled kindly. 

"Hey," I echoed, placing my pencil down on the paper. 

"You okay?" 

I looked at her momentarily, before fiddling with a loose thread on the ripped knee of my jeans. "Why do you ask?"

She shrugged. "I don't know, you seem distracted lately. I thought you'd be having the time of your life."

"I am," I said quickly. "Having the time of my life, I mean."

She arched a brow. "Are you sure? Because it doesn't seem like it. You know, I'm always here if you want to talk to me."

"I know," I assured her. "My brain just feels a bit scrambled at the moment."

"Welcome to everyday of my life." She gave me a quick hug and stood up, smoothing down her denim dress. She was wearing her studded boots, so she looked like I giant as I stayed sat down, looking up at her. "Anyway, I just wanted to check that you were okay before I head off to the library. I've got some studying to do if I want to make up for my complete failure of the Chemistry test last week."

"Sure, thanks Mia," I smiled, waving as she bounced down the steps and disappeared from sight. 

As if on cue, the double doors opened and loud voices entered the gymnasium, echoing around the vast room. I watched as Jack and Nick along with the rest of the team congregated in the middle. The coach was chatting to one of the other students while he pulled out cones from the large bag on the floor. I watched as he laid them down side by side, across the length of the court. 

Jack didn't notice me and I didn't say anything. The Coach blew the whistle and they all began doing their warm up exercises, weaving between the cones on their tiptoes. They had their first game in a few weeks, so they were being worked even harder than usual. I moved my pencil across the page as my eyes followed Jack. 

His long, toned arms were held in front of him for balance, his hands splayed out. His white basketball jersey was tight against his large chest and his shorts fell to just below his knees. His legs looked defined and strong. He had a look of steely determination on his face and I couldn't help but look at him proudly. As I sketched him from up high in the bleachers, I grimaced when I saw Olivia, Missy and Dana walk in to the gym through the double doors. 

I scooted back against the wall and they didn't see me, their eyes focused on the boys working out in front. I stared as Olivia began cheering for Jack. She was wearing a charcoal grey body con dress that moulded to her impeccable figure. Even from my distance away, squished to the back of the wall, I could see every curve. Her blonde hair was styled with bouncy curls and she bounced up and down herself,  clapping loudly. Dana and Missy stood next to her looking equally as gorgeous. Girls like me never stood a chance. 

I sighed quietly and closed my sketch book, before putting it back in my bag along with my pencils. I watched as Jack ran over to Olivia and started chatting, animatedly. Swinging my bag over my shoulder, I walked across the top of the bleachers to the far side and down the stairs to the bottom. With one final glance behind me, I pushed open the single door in the far right hand side of the gym and walked out in to the sunlight. 

I walked across the athletic track and over to the field in the middle. I kept walking until I found a spot on my own and plonked myself down. I put my bag on the floor and flattened it out with my fist, before shimmying down and resting my head on it, my knees in the air. The quiet was somewhat nice. My life felt so hectic lately that it was nice to have a minute just to breathe. I squinted up as the sun suddenly vanished from my face and a shadow was cast over me. 

"Hi," the familiar voice said over me.

"Caleb?" I asked, seeing only a silhouette in front of me. I sat up on my elbows and looked up at the familiar grey eyes. 

"Mind if I sit?" he asked. "I saw you walk over on your own so figured you could use some company."

"Sure," I said, watching as he took a seat beside me, our knees touching. 

He led down beside me so I dropped from my elbows and rested my head back on my bag, looking up at the sky. It was such a beautiful day and I thought we were having uncharacteristically good weather this time of year. At least something was going right. I turned my head to the side to see Caleb looking at me. 

"You look sad," he said suddenly, more like a statement than a question.

"I'm not sad," I said. "I'm just, tired."

"Tired?"

I nodded. "Tired of everything. Do you ever just feel like life is passing by and you've got nothing to show for it? I mean, here we are almost finishing the first term of school and I've flopped English. I still can't understand trigonometry and I'm barely even hanging out with my best friend anymore. And well, we went on one date and I can't even - "

I opened my eyes in shock as Caleb pressed his lips against mine briefly, stopping the words from tumbling out like a cascading waterfall of pent up feelings. I hesitated momentarily, but it only lasted a split second before I reached over and kissed him back. His lips tasted like cinnamon and they were soft against mine. His hand reached over and traced a line down my neck as he pulled away gently. 

My heart was racing a mile a minute and my stomach fluttered with a nervousness I had never felt before. Did I just have my first kiss with Caleb? My first kiss ever?

"Why did you do that?" I asked stupidly, my voice barely above a whisper. 

"I've wanted to do that for a while," he smiled at me. 

I was speechless as he looked back at the sky above. He blinked as the sun disappeared behind a cloud and I noticed for the first time how long his eyelashes were. I looked up at the sky too and was aware how close Caleb's hand was to mine. Our little fingers were barely touching, even only grazing each other but it was enough to ignite the butterflies in my stomach. We led there together for the rest of free period as we shared a pair of headphones together, listening to music and chatting about anything but that kiss, even though I couldn't get it out of my head.