Kisses after midnight (WICKED #0) | ✓

33

IF MATEO HAD TO be described using one word, people would call him confident, spontaneous or fearless. If he had to describe himself, all he could think of was lonely. It was an aching emotion deep inside him, one that burned at his smile and swallowed his heart whole. The people he surrounded with did nothing to ease that, because no one could understand him like his father had.

His mother meant the world to him, but he could never be that vulnerable to her now. Not when she was carrying so much on her back already, not when she was working so hard for him. He had to do better, be better. So he smiled when Chase came around again with one of his awkwardly assembled gift baskets, consisting of his favorite stuff, and he didn't tell him that he couldn't touch most of those things without breaking now. Saturdays were reserved for watching movies with his father, but nowadays all he did was fight and swallow his tears like acid. When he laughed, it burned his throat.

Gabriela had been there through it all. She had memorized his habits and sentences like they were roads on a map and somehow she made sense of them, guiding him through until he finally stopped getting lost. He knew she wasn't the sole reason for his fading grief, but she sure as hell helped. When he sat on his bedroom floor at three AM, choked up in heartbreak, she stroked his hair, when he broke his fist after feeling so powerless again, she bandaged it in silence.

It wasn't like he thought his love for her had ever meant she owed him anything, but when she had reciprocated it, for a moment the world seemed so bright again. He wanted to give her as much happiness as she gave him, to hold and love her forever. There was no pretending with her, just softly spun memories and diamond-soaked smiles. So he had let his gentle side come out again, even though he was scared to death of the scars the world would leave on it this time.

Now, as Milo was leaning over her, blocking her face from his view and letting his hand hover over the small of her back, he could hear a crack. It was childish and hateful that he was feeling this way, but be couldn't help wanting to slam Milo against a tree. He couldn't, he knew how annoyed Gabriela could get when she thought he assumed she couldn't protect herself.

It wasn't about that though, it never had been. He wasn't worried that she would get hurt, he was worried he was. Through all these years he had learnt how easily she could take care of herself. She was so strong, in an unapologetic, quiet way, and he was so hauntingly weak. If anything ever happened to her, he wouldn't know what to do with himself. It was selfish and pitiful and he despised that weak part of him that wanted to have her for himself, always, but it didn't go away.

More than anything, he just didn't want to make her hate him.

"Mateo?"

Gabriela had pushed Milo back, eyes searching his worriedly. He immediately unclenched his fists, forcing a smile on his face and easing the tension out of his shoulders.

"Hey Nena," he said quietly.

"Nothing is going on over here," she said, waving a hand between her and Milo to emphasize it," just in case you thought so. He was just trying to be funny."

"It's rude to say I'm trying," Milo said, though he didn't look bothered at all," I am funny."

"That's a lie," Luca said without skipping a beat.

Milo raised an eyebrow at him, but Luca didn't seem to care enough to look back, the permanent annoyance he seemed to wear sharp on his face. It took Mateo all of his strength not to let his jealousy shine through, Chase giving him a worried glance. They had been setting the tent up together and he was crouched down opposite him, hand reached out towards Mateo to take the hammer from his hand.

"Gabby thinks I'm funny, right?" Milo drawled then, eyes going over Gabriela.

"I never said that," she said coolly.