BLUE [h.s]

five.

I've been trying to find a new job for three straight days. Nothing.

I've been to factories, bars, restaurants, stores, companies... I even went to the beach to see if any fisherman needed help...

Not a thing.

It's safe to say I'm pretty pissed. And worried.

But one hour ago, I'm pretty sure pissed was the dominant feeling... that's why I called Seb... to fuck it away.

So that's what we just did.

It was great, it's not like my mind was somewhere else... nah... It's definitely not like a pair of green eyes ever crossed my mind.

Nop.

But speaking of green eyes... remember Harry? No? Yeah, almost forgot about him too... totally.

So... our date is tomorrow. I mean, our not-date-date.

Is it bad to admit I'm excited? Yes, it is.

And it is also pretty strange.

I don't comprehend why I like his company so much... I don't think I've even had enough time to make that discernment yet... I've known him for a month or so, but realistically, I've literally just been with him 4 times... one of which being a 5 minute interaction with me basically telling him to go to hell.

What I think it might be, the only somewhat reasonable explanation to why I'm actually looking forward to it, is because since he is so clueless about everything going on with me, it's somewhat freeing to hang out with him... It's like taking a break, going to a different reality.

I mean, he does know I'm out of a job because of the fucking breakdown I had in front of him on Friday, but he doesn't know how truly bad that is for me or about my mom's situation... and that won't be changing any time soon.

Can't believe I had that crisis in front of him... that never ever happened before... with anyone. I don't know what got into me.

I gave him my number on Saturday and Monday he texted me.

Also don't know what got into me to give him my number. Hell, I don't even know why I'm going on that date to begin with.

"Thursday"

Was the only thing the text read. I liked it actually. Pretty straight forward.

Of course I had to reply with "The day before Friday, if that's what you were asking." which lead to him saying "Shut up. Is it cool for you?"

So that's when I said that it was, in fact, cool for me. Really putting myself out there.

And that's how a plan for tomorrow at 5.p.m was made.

Now we shall wait and see how that turns out.

Let me emphasize this one more time... I definitely didn't think I'd be going on any dates in the next... five years maybe... but here I am... and it's with Harry.

This is crazy. CRAZY. I can't stress it enough.

What am I gonna wear?

Oh no, what?

No.

I sound like a little girl going to see her crush... gross... I'll wear anything. Right? Like, it doesn't matter.

"The only time we don't argue is when we do this." Seb says as we are laying in his bed side by side.

"Pretty healthy, if you ask me." I say while standing up picking my clothes from the floor.