BLUE [h.s]

two.

BLUE

"Now you rest, ok?"

"That's what I always do, Blue" My mom replies as she lays in her bed. She is back home.

"No, no it's not... but it's what you should do. Tell me if you need anything, ok?"

"I will, don't worry, love." She gives me a conforting smile.

It's just such a thing of my mom to do. She is the one going through things... so many things... but there is ot a day that goes by where she doesn't check on me... to see how I am doing... to try to confort me if anything is going on, even if she is the one that needs confort.

Even the slightest of things like saying she is okay even when she isn't, the little full of love smiles... I know what is in the back of her mind when she does all of that.

She is the best person I've ever met. Without a question. And my biggest role model.

She loves fiercefully and intensely, she is selfless and genuenly good.

She thought me the importance of the word love... how it shouldn't be thrown around if you don't mean it and also how good it feels to say it when you mean it.

She loves easily, I don't... That's something she could never pass to me... I just can't do it.

She loves to make friends and be with everyone, I don't. I like my people. Only.

Don't get me wrong... I try to help people as much as I can... nothing breaks my heart more than to see people in pain, but it's just that... I physically can't be like my mom is... always so ready to trust and to be there for everyone... not necessarily because I don't want to, but because I can't.

I'm always expecting people to not be how I expected... It's always pretty hard for me to find people I find interesting.

That's why I feel like I love so intensely too... because the few people I like to be around mean the world to me... It's just that it takes me so long to feel love and trust and desire to be with someone, that when I do... it's crazy intense.

I just wish my mom could live without fear... without pain... that's all I want... I wish she could have her life back.

It's crazy that even with everything, she never lost her light... she never stopped being the light of my life and I pray to God she never does. I couldn't take it.

"Ok, rest." I say trying to give the sweet smile back and then leave the room.

When I get to the small living room, Seb is sitting on the colorful sofa that has been here for all of my 21 years of life.

The whole house is small, but I love it... everything is so colorful and happy and beachy... really just a reflection of my mother'd character. My favorite part has always been my bedroom because it has a balcony directed at the sea and I adore it.

Of course my mom would give me the best room out of the two... I hope to be half of what she is one day... Truly.

I go to sit right by Sebastian's side, stealing the apple he was eating and biting on it. "I need you to help me."

He looks at me from top to bottom saying "I need you to give me my apple back."

Funny little thing he is. His apple back... ha.

"Not happening and you know it." I say taking another bite. "I'm serious, I need help."

He rolls his eyes at me. Happy to know he knows once I claim the apple, the apple is mine forever. "Sure, what do you need?"