My Type of Socializing | ✓

Chapter 10

As much as Adam tried to act like everything was okay, for his sake and Assad's, he couldn't help the fact that his sadness was radiating off him. He wore his emotions on his sleeve, and he knew his behavior was making Assad frustrated with him because they spoke less, and Adam reduced his frequent visits to the man's apartment.

Adam tried not to think too much about it. He put all his focus on his work, only wandering up the stairs to visit Assad only when they were scheduled to eat together. Assad had tried to keep being cheerful and chatty the first few times, but it seemed even he had a limit on the amount of silence and moping he was willing to tolerate.

Today, they were sitting across from each other in Assad's apartment on a Friday afternoon. The sound of cutlery resonated in the quiet kitchenette since neither of the two had said a word since the dark-skinned man had set down their plates of spaghetti and vegetable sauce.

"I can't take it anymore," Assad said out loud, ruining the silence. He groaned, rubbing his eyes before looking over at a startled Adam who had been busy self-deprecating himself in his head only seconds ago.

He looked up from the food in front of him, staring at Assad with a raised brow. The younger man rolled his eyes before resting his head on his hands.

"Don't look at me like you don't know what I'm talking about," he said, and Adam looked away from him, dropping his fork so that he could hide his shaking hand under the table. Assad was going to bring up his change of mood. He had been expecting that eventually, and although he wasn't keen on talking it through, he knew it needed to be done.

"What's wrong with you? Did I say something wrong?" Assad asked even though Adam hadn't responded to his query. "I just need to know so that we can fix it. Things only get worse if you pretend that they are not there," Assad continued, watching Adam blink back the water that was pricking at his eyes.

"You didn't do anything wrong." Adam was telling the truth. Assad wasn't in the wrong at all. It was just Adam who was still moping about the indirect rejection he had received. Assad didn't even know Adam liked him. What was the younger man supposed to do about that?

"Then what is it?" Assad asked. His voice was softer now. More patient. Adam felt his chest warm up. Assad couldn't even stay mad for more than a few minutes. He really was an angel.

Adam blinked, trying to look for what to say. "It's not you, it's—" he paused, wondering if the lie he had thought up would make much sense. "I was talking to someone, and I thought we had hit it off, but it looks like they're not interested," Adam muttered, focusing himself to smile a little.

"Oh," Assad said, sucking on his top lip as his eyes wandered past Adam. "Heartbreak, huh?"

"Yeah," Adam said, picking up his fork again. Assad seemed clueless about it being him, and that was a relief. "I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up. It's not like I'm good looking or anything—"

"Oh, hush," Assad said, cutting Adam off. The older man frowned, looking over at Assad who had not gotten up from his seat.

"But it's true...?" Adam trailed. Everything from his deep eye bags, bad skin from lack of care, and scrawny appearance made him quite aware that he wasn't a catch. He could be average if he took better care of himself, but as he stood now, he would question anyone's taste if they said he was their type.

"You're pretty cute," Assad said, walking over to Adam before bending over a bit by his stool. "If you took care of yourself more your features would pop out more."

Adam wanted to ask Assad what features he was going on about, but he couldn't use his mouth anymore since his heart had taken refuge there. Assad was too close, and he was getting closer. The younger man had reached out to touch his face. He brushed Adam's brown hair back before rubbing under the man's eyes with his thumb.

"Your eyes are pretty breathtaking. It looks like... seafoam?" Assad said that like he was unsure of himself, and Adam snorted out a laugh, making Assad's grin widen. "I'm serious," the younger man continued. "Your lips are also really pretty. Bowed upper lip and all even though they're pretty thin."

Adam's stomach got tangled up in knots at that. He opened his mouth, but all that he could get out was a little whine. Assad laughed at that, and Adam diverted his eyes, feeling his face warm up.

"Oh, come on, don't do that, I'm being serious," Assad said, reaching to pull Adam off his stool. The man got up, staggering a bit until he was just a step away from being smacked face-first into Assad's chest.

"You know, I could help you shop for clothes and get your hair done," Assad muttered, reaching out to push Adam's hair back again. The older man only ever cut it occasionally—at his apartment. With dull scissors. It looked hideous. "That's if you're okay with going outside for a day."

Adam started to feel the paranoia crawl at his skin. Shopping meant lots of people. People that wouldn't mind their business and cause him distress with their contact and questions. He couldn't go outside, even though it meant time with Assad.

"Oh, not that look," Assad groaned, making Adam blink. He had a look when he was panicking? "We'll go to a thrift shop, they're pretty empty on weekdays.  I would cut your hair for you, but I don't know two shits about fine-textured hair," he said, making Adam's eyes move to his braids.

Assad frowned. "Don't gawk at me."

"S-sorry," Adam stuttered. He knew a lot of people didn't like getting stared at for their fashion and grooming choices. Even though he was doing it because looking at Assad gave him butterflies and he just had a compulsion to keep looking at the man, it was still rude of him.

"It's okay," Assad said. brushing another stray strand of hair from Adam's cheek. "So, what do you say?"

Adam licked his lips. "I'll think about it," he mumbled, and Assad just nodded, not pushing in on the topic anymore.

The two stood in silence for the next handful of minutes. Adam didn't want to move. He was enjoying how Assad was petting his hair and observing the rough rash that had formed under his chin. He knew there wasn't anything romantic about it. It was more like a mother examining her kid that went to play outside, but it made Adam's cheeks flame and chest sing.

"When I'm done with you, the person that rejected you will know just what they're missing," Assad said, making Adam blink and come out of his thoughts. The older man could only smile weakly, wondering if Assad would ever figure it out.

It's okay like this. He tried to tell himself. He didn't want to lose his first crush and first friend in a very long time to his unchecked emotions, so he made a promise to himself never to tell Assad that he liked him. He valued him too much to let go.