Straight To You

forty-five

The last game of the playoffs takes place Friday. I end up watching the game with Lana, as showing up to football games together has become somewhat of a tradition for us. I've never been as nervous to sit on a bleacher and scream at boys in leggings throwing around a ball (thinking about it, football sounds a little stupid) as I am tonight, my nerves brought on by the realization that this is the last game of the season. My school has one chance to win, or we lose the championship title. It's a little bittersweet to me, honestly. The next football games I'll attend will be when I'm in college, as this is my last year of high school. It's funny how fast time flies when you aren't paying attention.

Speaking of not paying attention, the sound of the referee blowing his whistle abruptly brings me back to the present. The whistle signifies the starting of the game, and I'm on my feet the instant I spot Jack step onto the field. He turns to face the crowd, eyes locking with mine in moments. Shooting me that smirk of his I've come to love, Jack forms a heart with his hands, causing my actual heart to flutter in my chest. I blow him a playful kiss before returning to my seat, bumping my shoulder against Lana's.

"I don't think I've ever cared so much about football as I do tonight," Lana teases. When Kyler steps out onto the field, she rises from her seat and cups her hands around her mouth before crying, "You better win or I'm never kissing you again, Kyler!"

Spotting Lana in the crowd, Kyler glances up and raises his middle finger, to which Lana rolls her eyes and blushes. I furrow my eyebrows as I watch their encounter, noting that they have a very . . . interesting relationship, to say the least.

"My dad is terrified," I murmur to Lana, finding my dad standing on the sidelines of the field, clipboard in hand. "This is the first football season he's ever coached, and I know he wants it to turn out successful."

"He's a natural at coaching," Lana assures me with a bright smile. "Plus, he lucked out. With Jack Crawford playing, how can we go wrong?" My friend's blue eyes shine with a devious gleam as she adds, "That is, unless you decide to break up with him again."

I shove her, rolling my eyes good-naturedly. "Never again," I say, meaning the words. "I'm happy with him. He makes me happy."

"And I'm happy for you," Lana teases, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and pulling me into her side. "I hope you know that you deserve this, Morgan. To be happy, I mean."

I'm positive that Lana doesn't know even half of how much her words mean to me. After all that I've been emotionally put through in the past, it's a struggle to find happiness and to make that happiness last. What's harder than trying to stay in a good place is when I get to wondering if I even deserve to be happy at all. But to hear Lana say that I do deserve it means a lot, because she has never lied to me. And if she thinks I deserve to find happiness, then maybe that's true.

I glance up toward the sky, noticing the stars twinkling brightly in the dark night air above. My gaze zeroes in on a small speck shining a little brighter than the other stars, and for a moment I can't help thinking of my mother. She used to enjoy studying the stars and planets through her telescope once night fell, always fascinated by how vast the universe is. I remember the first time she'd let me glimpse through her telescope, pointing out the Northern Star to me. Holding me close to her so I could reach the telescope lens, Mom had whispered to me, "Whenever you look up and see the brightest star shining down on you, know that I'm thinking of you, love."