Orpheus

28

"Riley! Riley!" Owen jogged into the gym, desperately searching for Riley.

'Oh you messed up... you messed up, didn't you?'

'But what did I do? Oh my god, hope it wasn't about something I did...'

He stopped as he heard sniffling. His eyes zeroed in on the source and found her; Riley, curled up near the window.

'Shit; she cryin'. What do we do? What do we do?'

"Hey..." He spoke softly, gingerly walking towards Riley, hands held up; he thought it'd show trust.

'Idiot; you're not approaching a raptor from Jurassic Park.'

'What else am I supposed to do?!'

Riley didn't respond, her head buried behind her knees.

'I'm not qualified for this shit; what the hell do I do?'

Owen decided to go ahead and sit on the floor next to Riley; she didn't seem to notice. He let his legs stretch and head rest against the glass panel behind him, trying to embrace the cold space centimeters behind him.

He sat like there for a few moments, listening to the silence, contemplating what to say. He felt like a knot was being tied 'round his Adam's apple.

"Hey Riley..." he paused but didn't look at her, choosing to focus on the treadmill on the far end of the sector; he was too scared to look at her. "Look, I'm... sorry, if I did anything wrong, or if I- I dunno how to do this- if I screwed up or something, I'm really sorry. I truly am."

He waited for a reply, but all he heard were a few sniffles. It didn't exactly boost his morale. He finally forced himself to look at her and found Riley hadn't moved an inch; unmoving like the space behind her.

The knot began tightening itself.

'Maybe she IS mad at you...'

"Okay... okay. Well, I'll-uh- sorry anyway." Owen stuttered, beginning to get up, when he thought he heard Riley say something.

'Did she say no?'

"You said something Riles?"

"No". One word was all she croaked. She lifted her head, showing her red eyes, moist face, her tank top stained with tears. Owen felt his heart get pierced by a red hot needle. "Stay." She said after a small pause.

A thousand emotions burnt through him as he gently sat back next to her; she seemed to be staring at a spot on the floor, fixated on some internal turmoil.

Owen wasn't sure what was the right thing to do; instinctively, he placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, if you want to... talk about it, I'm here." He tried saying as gently as possible. "Or If you don't want to, that's also fine. What eve-"

"No..." Riley wiped her nose with her wrist. "I've... broken down far too many times. I think I owe you an explanation."

"I mean, don't force it, if you're not comfortable..."

"No; I need to get this out." She shifted her gaze from the spot and looked him dead in the eyes; it broke Owen's heart to see them crimson.

"When I was young... I had a boyfriend, who was... exactly like you." She gave a small pause. "I really loved him, I really did." Her voice cracked a bit at that. "But he... he..." Riley took a ragged breath and closed her eyes. "He raped me."

A silence engulfed the room. "My foster parents thought it was consensual, and they blamed me. Months later Ethan was born..." she struggled to not break into another fit of sobs; Owen didn't know what to say. "And... ever since then I've been scared to like someone, and now when I spend time with you it just, it reminds me of him."

She was crying her eyes out at this point. "And it scares me, and reminds me of Ethan, and makes me feel guilty, and I-I don't know what I feel and-" Riley didn't complete the sentence; she buried her face behind her knees as she sobbed hysterically.

Owen sat there in silence. His palm, unmoved from Riley's shoulder, now seemed to burn.

'You're the reason she's sad right now. You may not have done anything, but you are the reason she's feeling bad...'

'You are a demon from her past.'

Owen slowly removed his hand from Riley's shoulder.

"I'm sorry..." she looked up at him apologetically. "I don't want to feel this way, but I do, and... I'm sorry..." she buried her face again.

'I feel guilty; and god, it's crushing me...'

"Nono, hey, listen: This is not your fault, okay?" Owen said in what he assumed was a reassuring tone. "If anybody should be apologizing it's me."

Riley shook her head, but she still covered her face.

'She's not looking at you; why would she? You make her feel bad.'

'You are the demon from her past.'

He fought back another wave of emotions; sadness and guilt rained hell on him, and he didn't bring an umbrella. Oddly though, from the influx of emotions, a third one presented itself: resolve.

'I'm the reason she's feeling like shit; I think it's best if we maintain distance.'

"Hey, I guess I'll let you process your emotions alone, 'kay?" Owen said in a soft voice, trying to keep all feelings except reassurance hidden. He then got up from the floor.

'But this... it's not fair for you!'

Owen looked down at Riley: head down, on the floor, miserable.

'No, it's not. But it's the right thing for her.'

He turned around and began walking towards the bunks. The air 'round him stung cold, his heart hollow like the space outside. He finally let go of the knot in his throat is shaky breath.