The Way We Feel

12: Zach

heyyy, i hope you guys are doing well!! just so you know, this chapter is a bit iffy, as in, it was difficult from a technical standpoint to write. its one of the last (possibly the last) zach pov chapters before we find out smth pretty major abt his backstory, that will address some stuff thats been hinted at already. but i didn't want to spoil it here, which turned out to be problematic for me lol.

also: zach is struggling with some stuff. that probably started to become apparent in the last chapter, and it's going to continue a bit in this one. so some of his thoughts are a little bit dark, and if that's something that may be triggering for you, please don't push yourself through them!

anyway, I hope you enjoy!

//

"Hey, you've reached Cody! Sorry I didn't pick up, but I don't talk on the phone. Try texting next time. Anyway, leave a message if you want!

Zach hit the home button on his phone, exiting the call. He dropped it on his bed, and launched himself up, walking into the hallway. That kid's stupidly innocent voicemail.

"Zach!" His dad called down the stairs.

"Yeah?" He yelled up, taking the first few steps.

"Je suis leaving pour work!" The mix of French and English almost pulled a slight grin out of Zach. His parents wanted him to speak their first languages as well as English, but because neither of them were fluent in both French and Italian, they ended up with a weird mixing pot of languages, and a confused son.

"Okay," he replied. Mr. Boisclair had been working for nine days in a row. He claimed that it was for overtime pay, but Zach wasn't fooled. His dad, and mom, just couldn't stand to be in the house alone with him for hours on end. Neither could he, but he didn't exactly have a choice.

"Me too," his mom said softly, pulling him into a side hug as she passed him on the staircase. He nodded.

"Enjoy," he told them dryly.

"What are you going to do?" His dad asked, appearing at the top of the stairs. This whole thing felt very confrontational.

"Uh, I dunno. Some homework? Meet up with some friends, maybe." His mom frowned.

"Okay. Sweetie, we know that—"

"I'm fine," he said brightly. If they saw through his forced smile, they didn't say anything. The simply smiled sadly, and resumed their rush to get out the door.

After he heard it close, he wandered into the kitchen. Blankly staring into the fridge, he asked himself what he was going to to that day.

There was an all-day football practice to prepare for a big game, so most of his friends would be preoccupied. Cody obviously didn't need him to entertain him. Contrary to what he had told his parents, he didn't actually have any homework this weekend, aside from the ever-looming History project.

Zach wished they had a dog.

He ended up grabbing a bruised apple, because he didn't really deserve better, and sat down on the couch, gazing out at the forest near his house.

His leg hurt again.

No it didn't.

He rubbed at the spot where his prosthetic and actual leg connected, wishing that the car had just crushed his whole body and taken him.

But you're lucky to be alive, he could hear people telling him. Yeah. Lucky.

He turned on his phone, staring at the date that was staring up at him from the lock screen. He had been living in Langley for over a year.

A new message popped up on his phone, drawing him out of the spiral he was about to go down.

It was from Leila, who was asking what he was up to that day. A second text appeared a moment later, inviting him down to a museum with her. That wouldn't have been the first place he'd have picked to go, but he needed to get out of the house. He replied, telling her that he'd be at her house shortly.

* * *

"Hey," Leila smiled at him when she answered the door.

"Do you have any Advil?" He hadn't taken any, and was regretting it now. He could feel his leg being squeezed tighter and tighter. He was fine, though.

"No, sorry," she replied, gazing at him. "We might have some Ibuprofen somewhere, if you want me to look?" He just shrugged it off.

"Nah, it'll be fine. Anyway, where are we headed?"

Leila's face began spreading with a big smile.

"There's this museum down the street," she began, and he nodded, very familiar with one of the only attractions of the town. "And they have a display up right now about weaponry during World War I." Zach felt himself trying not to groan.

"Wow. That sounds...exciting, I guess." Leila zipped up her jacket, and stepped out of her doorway.

"Try to contain your enthusiasm," she said dryly. "My dad and I used to go to World War I exhibits all the time, and I wanted to go when I saw it advertised, but I didn't want to go alone." He didn't respond right away, not quite knowing how to.

"As long as we can get some ice cream after, I'm game," he eventually said.

* * *
"So, Sommes was really the first place that tanks played a large role in the battle," Leila told him. Zach stared at the piece of tire in front of him, trying to muster up the same passion for broken machinery that she held.

"Okay," he said. He glanced around the room, spotting a bench along one of the wall. "Hey, do you mind if we sit down for a moment?" She shrugged, and began walking towards it.

They sat down, and Zach gripped his leg, not caring anymore if Leila noticed. It hurt.

"Are you doing okay?" She asked him hesitantly.

"I'm great," he replied through gritted teeth. "It's just, it hurts sometimes." He closed his eyes, tilted his head back slightly, and prayed for his brain to just accept that he shouldn't actually be in pain.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, and he eventually stood up.

"Cool, let's just not talk about that. Ice cream?" She got up as well, but Zach could tell that she was concerned for him, which he understood. He just wished that it wasn't an issue at all.

But that was his life.

//

i'm so tired dkdkkd. also i'm working as staff at a camp this summer, so this was written in between bouts of me running around doing stuff and there are most likely spelling/grammatical mistakes, but i wanted to be able to publish this lol.

i hope you enjoyed this!! if you did, please consider leaving a comment so i know what you did/didn't like :^))

teaser for the next chapter: leila's pov, but it takes place just where this one left off, and we're gonna get into some info (like a lot) about zach.

xo, hannah