In The Eye of the Beholder | Jonathan Crane

May 1993

The child is grown

The dream is gone

And I have become comfortably numb

-Comfortably Numb (Pink Floyd)

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Prom night. A magical night for some and a nightmare for others. Hopefully, my night wouldn't end like Carrie White's did.

My father had fussed over me before I left. He said I was a beautiful young woman. He said he was proud of the woman I'd become. He might have been crying. Seeing him like that had almost made me forget all the wrong he'd done to me. Almost.

Jonathan met me at the school. His suit, hand-me-down and too big, hung on his skinny frame. He pulled on the sleeves of the coat. He wasn't handsome, but that didn't matter. He didn't have to be.

Neither of us said anything to each other as we entered the gym. The other couples were showering one another with compliments. Jonathan and I didn't. We weren't a couple. We didn't get to say how in love we were with the other.

"You look nice," Jonathan said as we stood to the side of the gym. I watched the other couples dance.

"Thanks. So do you."

Bo and Sherry were dancing together. They actually seemed like they were in love. I might have wished to be like them if they weren't such bullies.

A song I loved came on. "Making Love Out Of Nothing At All" by Air Supply. I began to slowly sway to the music of the song. Then I pulled on Jonathan's hand.

"Come dance with me. Just one song," I said when I felt him try pulling away. "Please, Jonathan? You can't bring me to prom and not dance at least once with me."

He groaned, but let me pull him out into the middle of the floor. The dance was a bit awkward due to the massive height difference between us, but we managed. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sherry give me an odd look. I ignored her. I hummed the song as we danced.

The dance ended too soon.

Jonathan pulled me back into the corner but kept his fingers locked with mine. I made no attempt to pull away.

I watched Bo and Sherry leave the gym. They were probably going to Bo's car to make out. That wasn't any of my business though.

"I'll be right back," Jonathan said into my ear.

"Don't be gone long. I didn't come to be by myself," I answered.

Jonathan was still gone fifteen minutes later. I sat alone in the corner, nibbling on a cracker. I saw Evan and waved. He waved back, then turned back to the girl he was talking to. Then he started coming towards me.

"Where's Jonathan?" he asked.

"I don't know. He said he'd be right back fifteen minutes ago."

"I wouldn't worry about it, he probably lost track of time. He's probably uncomfortable in a place with all these people."

"Won't your date be upset you're talking to another girl?" I asked, pointing to the girl he'd been previously talking to. Evan laughed.

"She's not my date. I came alone since a certain redhead rejected me."

"I'm sorry-"

"I'm just joking," he laughed. "So, other than your missing date, are you en-" Evan was cut off by a piercing scream. The students occupying the gym were suddenly running outside.

A car had run into a tree. Two of the football players were at the car, trying to get the occupants out.

"Oh my God, what do you think happened?" I asked Evan. He was about to answer when another girl started screaming. The football players pulled Bo out of the car. I grabbed Evan by the arm. One of the girls started crying.

"Oh my God, Sherry," the crying girl said through her tears. The football players pulled out Sherry. She wasn't moving. More girls started crying.

Where was Jonathan?

One of the adults must have had called the police. Sirens were getting closer to the school. I held onto Evan.

"What's going on, Amber?" Finally, Jonathan was back. I let go of Evan.

"I don't know. But it doesn't look like Sherry is breathing. And Bo can't move," I said, feeling tears run down my face. Paramedics crowded the scene. Couples held onto one another.

"Come on, let's go. They'll make us leave anyway," Jonathan whispered into my ear. I quietly said goodbye to Evan, then followed Jonathan away from the scene.

"Where were you?" I asked when we were away from the others.

"Getting air. I needed a minute away from everyone," Jonathan said.

"That minute was actually fifteen minutes. You only showed up after Bo's car crashed into that tree. You know that looks suspicious."

Jonathan took hold of my wrist. Tightly.

"Do you think I did something to them? Do you, Amber?" he whispered. He sounded vaguely threatening.

"No," I said. But yes is what I thought. In my eyes, he hated them both enough to do something as terrible as causing a crash.

He let go of my wrist.

"I didn't do anything. I swear," he assured me.

I wasn't assured. His promises didn't mean much to me anymore.