Hollywood Remake (A Celebrity Love Story)

Chapter 26: Sleepless In LA

Aidan squeezed his eyes shut and then opened them again, blinking rapidly as he tried to focus on the cup of coffee in his hands. He’d arrived at the point of sleep deprivation where vision started to fail – not a good sign. He lounged by the open window of the hotel living room, hoping the fresh air and morning sunlight would help to rouse him. The four cups of coffee probably wouldn’t hurt either.

He hadn’t slept a wink last night. Again. It had been going on like this for way too long. He must have gotten a grand total of about three hours of sleep total since the night of his botched marriage proposal. Ever since, he’d been spending his nights lying in bed next to Kate, wide awake, listening to her breathing – desperately trying to memorize every little sound she made in her sleep.

He couldn’t seem to make his mind shut off at night. It just whirred in an endless loop, going over and over his schedule for the next six months. Not that it did him any use. No matter how many times he went through it, the answer never changed. There was no way he could scrape together more than a few days a month to be in New York.

First there was the tour. That would take him through New York for one show next month, and he could try to extend that into a weekend – but then he’d be off to the Midwest after that for the entire month of August. Could he steal away for a long weekend or two in September? Possibly. But then he was scheduled to start shooting music videos and commercials for his new skincare line by the first week of October. That meant his schedule would be jam-packed with barely a moment to spare, right up through the middle of December.

It was no use. The six months would be up by then, but Kate was crazy if she thought she’d be any closer to reaching a decision. How could she, if they were barely even be in the same city for more than a handful of days? No, he knew how it would go. The six month mark would come. He’d propose again. And she’d say she needed another six months. And another. And another. And another.

Hopeless, he thought. He took a deep breath and swallowed another mouthful of coffee, struggling to tamp down the growing sense of panic.

There were only a few days left until Sunday. Her flight was scheduled to leave Sunday afternoon. 4:15 PM to be exact. That was another game he liked to play with himself, lying in bed next to her in the darkness. Calculate the exact number of hours and minutes until Sunday at 4:15 PM. That had occupied him pretty well for at least the first couple of nights. But mathematical ability was another thing that seemed to deteriorate around night three of total sleeplessness.

The only hope was to get her to stay. Convince her to come with him for at least part of the tour and then stay with him afterward here in LA. Then at least they would see each other. But he knew that was hopeless too. She would never go for it. Not with that damned job of hers. She wouldn’t give up the job as long as things remained unsettled between them. And things would never be settled between them as long as she had the job. It was impossible. A vicious circle.

He just wanted to know the answer. Now. Not in six months. She’d made him promise not to mention marriage again for the rest of the week, but it was all he could think about last night. During the daytime too. He’d been blowing off rehearsals the past few days, just focusing on showing her a good time. Every time she smiled, every time she laughed, every time she looked at him and he saw that glow in her eyes – every fiber of his being screamed within him, “Marry me! Marry me! Marry me!”

He wanted to say it out loud. It was killing him, trying to hold it in. But he’d promised. Broken promises were not the way to convince her that he was ready for a major life commitment. Dammit, why had he promised? How was he possibly going to let her fly back to New York on Sunday without speaking aloud the thoughts that thundered endlessly inside his head? Impossible. Impossible.