Of Monsters and Humanity: The Genesis

Chapter 52 - Terra

Fourteen days before....

And he left the next day.

I kept a strong face as the plethora of military personnel came back to claim him. They packed his things, put away the weaponry, and prepared for his transfer. I watched as his clothes disappeared from his room and the heavy artillery came and left from my house. The mass of trucks came back, all sitting in my front yard and driveway.

Everything was iced over, and the weather was especially cold. I had to wear two pairs of socks and two sweaters as the doors in my house were opened for hours as people came and left.

I had a list of books I wanted put in the Pit for Xander, and I kept his iPod. He said that he didn't want it when it came time for him to leave. He said that they would take it away from him. I kept the drawing, too.

A SWAT officer told me that Byligan was on his way in the final truck, the one for Xander. His sedatives were being prepared in my kitchen.

Xander stood next to the oven, watching them prepare his injection.

I walked slowly up to him. "Can I talk to you?" I whispered. We had spent the entire day together yesterday, while I mostly cried and had heartache. I could tell that he did, too, but probably from seeing me that way.

I just had to accept things, no matter how much I didn't like it.

Regardless of how much I was starting to care about Xander, I had to accept the fact that he would leave Project X as soon as I would.

Yet I would be the only one walking away alive.

He looked at me for a moment, brows furrowed as he watched doctors set up his upcoming sedation, then nodded.

I lead him to his bedroom, which was one of the only places where there were no military personnel watching like a hawk.

As soon as the door closed behind him, I spun around and was met with his lips.

He kissed me hard, like he needed me, and like he was scared. Like he needed my strength, however much I had in me. I started to fall for the feel of his lips against me, of him against me. I couldn't ever get enough.

I held him close to me as he continued to kiss me feverishly, and like he was drinking me in. I jumped up and wrapped my arms around his neck, holding him close to me. I wanted to give him all that I had. My heart felt light and the world felt like everything was in its proper place. For now, he was alive and we were truly us. I wanted him to stay here, with me in my house, safe from harm and Project X.

I wanted him free.

He suddenly broke. "I know that there is a lot of uncertainty in the future, and I have to warn you that I'm going to have to hurt you."

I pulled away and put my hands on his chest. "What?"

He swallowed. "We have to prove to Project X that there's nothing here. A lot of personnel have seen us together and I'm sure they've given word to others who haven't. For your own safety, I have to do this. They could kick you out of the internship. I'm sorry." He leaned down and pressed his lips to my forehead.

I closed my eyes and nodded. We were sloppy with trying to hide it, and there was no way that the military in my home over the past few days had no idea of what went on. They saw it, and they knew it. They weren't blind, and neither was Project X.

There was a knock at the door, and I heard several people walk up to it. I heard guns shifting and a man ask us to open the open up. Just as we expected.

My heart jumped out of my chest, and I spoke quickly. "There's something going on with Project X, too," I whispered, rushing the words out of me. "Balcom might make me do things that I don't want to do."

"I know," he muttered as he leaned over, opening the door and taking a folded piece of paper out of my back pocket with his other hand. We made eye contact and he nodded.

When it swung open, Agent Byligan stood unimpressed in the doorway, a brow raised and his nostrils flared. Soldiers stood behind him, all staring at Xander.

"I'm not taking your damned drawing," Xander swore and outstretched his hand with my drawing of him in it.

I looked taken aback. "But--"

"No, Terra. Keep it. I don't want it and I don't want you," he cursed, his eyes cold and barren, and walked towards the door. He stopped in front of Byligan and turned his head but didn't look at me. "You think of me as a monster, and as some kind of test monkey. I'm done with you." He turned his head back so I couldn't even see part of his face. "Go to Damian. I'm sure he'll give you what you need."

My jaw dropped and my eyes immediately started to sting.

"Come on, Experiment X," Byligan interrupted. "They're ready for you with the sedatives."

"Couldn't be more ready to leave this fucking place," Xander groaned, shoving past him and the other soldiers standing my hallway.

I watched as he stormed away, and how my heart tore out of my body and followed him. A soldier turned and glared at me before leaning forward and closing Xander's bedroom door.

I collapsed onto the ground, now alone, and had to hold in cries that wanted to wrack my body. I knew that it was fake, and I knew he did it to do it. But with the coldness of his face and the harshness of his words and the fact that we would have to be like this for the next four months just in order to see each other every day, I just couldn't help but want to cry. It felt so real, and I wanted to throw up. That last moment was the last one I would get with him when he was happy and himself. Carefree. Free. Now he has to pretend and we have to watch as the bond we formed deteriorates just in time for me to leave Project X and for him to leave the Earth.

I have to watch him lose himself again.

School was an absolute joke.

Eventually after I picked myself up off the ground and searched my empty house for any remaining military personnel, I went to class to take my final exams. I turned in my last papers and tests just to go back home and sit in silence. The emptiness, sudden darkness, and mental exhaustion all took their toll on me. Even though I was finally alone again, I was left with more restlessness than before Xander's visit here.

I missed him, and I wished he was back here to talk to me or to help me fall asleep. I missed his presence and the way he seemed to scare away my dark thoughts.

When I finally fell asleep, all I could think of was what he was doing back at the facility, and if he was being tested on or not, or if he was in pain or not, or if he was also thinking of me.

This "Experiment X." This monster. This cannibal. This Nightmare. This disgusting creature out to harm all of humanity.

My stomach churned, for these names could not have been for Xander. In my head, Xander and Experiment X were two different people.