Walking the Ruins

A rabbit hunted, and preparing veggies

It has been five days since Rose and Kevin told me about the baby. Since then I've spent most of my time away from the house, stalking prey, getting used to the new bow that I got from Kevin, and thinking.

Hunting offers many opportunities for thinking. You walk, you wait, you search, you stalk, and all that time the thoughts in your head can spin freely, unfettered.

The forest and the shore of the lake, they are fine places to do all that thinking.

I was thinking about Rose and Kevin's refusal to accompany me to the valley. I was thinking about Anna and how she might feel now, torn from her home, among strangers. I was thinking about my own priorities, wishes, and goals. I was thinking about plans.

With the others, I have avoided the topic of my return to the valley. As for Rose and Kevin, I respect their decision to put their future family first. And as for Anna, even though she seems to make steady progress, she is still weak, so I've decided not to pester her with any plans yet.

But I have made up my mind that I will go back there. Armed, determined and ready. I will do whatever it takes.

Returning from my hunt, I approach the house, holding a dead rabbit by its hind legs. It's late afternoon and my stomach is begging for sustenance. The building looks peaceful, with a thin trail of smoke rising from its chimney. I enter the well-tended garden and hear voices from around the corner. I recognize Rose's merry laughter, then a snicker, a female one. It must be Anna's. I don't see the two of them. They probably sit at the table facing the lake.

Anna has spent most of the time in her bed, but now she's obviously up. And she hasn't talked much. But now she seems to be chatting. Driven by curiosity, I approach, wondering what they are talking about.

"... sure you'll be a great mother." That's clearly Anna's voice. "You're so ..." she hesitates. "You're such a caring person."

Rose laughs again. "I dunno. But, yes, I do look forward to it. To the baby."

"I love kids," Anna says. "I love to watch them. How they play with each other. They can be so ... unworried, completely lost in what they do. You know, there's a couple of them in the village, near the bunker. I sometimes see them."

"Do you have any small kids in the bunker?" Rose's voice is curious.

"No, none. It's a pity. But now Catherine is pregnant. She's my cousin. And I guess it's only a matter of time until Emma will be, as well. Pregnant, I mean. She's with Frankie, kind of."

I remember Emma, the girl with the short, black hair and the pistol. I don't know about any Catherine or Frankie. Well, anyway, it's mother nature having her will, as usual. As with the ducks.

"I'm looking forward to seeing their kids playing together," Anna says, a smile in her voice, then she hesitates. When she continues, her tone is serious. "Well, probably I won't. Won't see them, I mean. I won't be there."

I decide that I have done enough eavesdropping for today and step around the corner.

"Hey," I say, waving my rabbit. "I've got dinner."

"Naw," Rose gives me an unsmiling stare. "Can't skin, prepare and cook that in time. It'll be tomorrow's dinner. Today, it's veggies. We're not changing the menu now." She points to a heap of potatoes, onions and carrots that are piled in front of them, peeled, cut and ready for the pot.

She reminds me of my mother.

Her grin returns as she studies my prey. "But I do look forward to tomorrow."

They are sitting on a long bench placed against the wall of the house. There's room beside Anna, so I sit down.

"Anna, how do you feel?" I ask.

"Better." She smiles and raises her injured arm above her head to prove the point.

Later, Rose takes the veggies inside, and I stay out on the bench with Anna. Our backs rest against the wall behind us, the warm rays of the late afternoon sun kissing our skin.

"You know, Anna," I say. "I'll go back. To the valley."

She turns her head towards me. "What do you want to do there?"

I shrug. "I'm not sure yet. But it has to stop."

"What do you want to stop?" She talks slowly, enunciating the words one by one.

I raise my shoulders again. "The chipping. The things they do to Steve and Jenny. To the villagers. Jan has to be stopped."

Her head turns back towards the lake. She is silent.

I would really like to know what she's thinking now. Thinking of this. How she feels about my plan. But even though I am curious, I feel strangely detached, at peace—secure in the knowledge that I'll go, whatever she'll say.

Mama duck is paddling the water close to the shore, her offspring trailing her as usual. I could have hunted her down, used an arrow on her, but I've decided that they are family. No eating of family—at least as long as there's enough food to be found elsewhere.

A breeze is rustling the leaves of a large beech tree bordering the garden. The air carries the smell of the lake.

"I'll help you," Anna says, breaking the silence between us. Her eyes are still on the lake. I look at her. A tear is running down her cheek.

I reach out for her hand and hold it. She clasps mine, squeezing me back.

"How do you want to do that?" says Kevin, eyes wide open, hands spread.

We are sitting at dinner, and I have just told them that we will go back to the valley, free Steve and Jenny, and stop Jan's atrocities.

Kevin's eyes focus on Anna. "Your people ... the bunker people, I mean ... they've got weapons. Working technology. They are dangerous."

Anna opens her mouth, then looks at me without saying anything.

"We yet have to finalize our plans," I say. Well, finalizing the plans may not be the right word—forming plans would be more accurate. But we'll come up with something. "We have time yet. We don't have to leave tomorrow."

I look at Rose. She's biting her lower lip, and her eyes are on the plate in front of her. Then my eyes return to Kevin.

"We will need weapons," I say, fixing him with a determined stare.

He gulps, then nods. Slowly, the corners of his mouth rise.