Our complicated love story

Ch.3.4 Graduation

Graduation
Ch.3.4

Theo's pov

Today is an important day. Some would say it is one of the things to be the most proud of but honestly, right now I can't really relate.

Today, I'm finally graduating high school. It still sounds unbelievable to me at least. It feels like the last few years went by fast, well except the last few months of course but yeah I can't believe I'm graduating today.

If you asked me 2 years ago what I thought about graduating, I would've told you that graduating high school would be an important step for me in my life.

Regardless, the last few months have been rough for me. Not only I'm pregnant but the whole world had to know I was gay and that had something going on with Nathan.

They didn't genuinely believe it at first but ever since that day I saw Nathan that boy, he...he has been fooling around with him. Yeah, he hooks up with multiple boys...now...

It seems like the fact that everyone finally knew about him being gay, didn't seem to faze him at all. It only let him have the courage to start hooking up with some guys openly.

It hurts to know he already moved on while I still haven't. Every day I've been crying because I still like him and I can't have him. I'm not joking, I really do cry every night.

He hasn't tried to talk to me either...

Ever since that day, he keeps showing up to school kissing random guys as if to purposely provoke a reaction out of me or I don't know make me jealous. Isn't he the one who said he didn't want anything serious with me?

Seeing how he's busy doing that, I don't think he ever plans to talk to me again or even getting involved. I knew he wouldn't but that still hurts...

It was way better when Nathan would just be mean to me not straight-up ignore me. I would take that over this.

I can't believe I'm saying this but in a way I kind of regret not using protection. Who knew what would have happened if we used protection? Would we still be together? I know we had a break beforehand but if it wasn't for my situation, I would've gone back to Nathan.

Regardless, I never knew losing my enemy would hurt this much...

Ugh, why do I still keep thinking about him? Sometimes I wish I would move on, but I guess I can't. I thought being in love was the best feeling in the world but apparently, it truly is not. It hurts like hell. If only Nathan wouldn't be an asshole...

I truly do want to make myself believe that he's only bad news especially knowing what he did to me in the past but I just can't help but think about the time we spend together.

Obviously, it didn't even last 3 weeks but the times when he would kiss me, use his desirable charm, his touch, his smirk, truly melt my heart.

There's also his piercings that I never revealed were a lot more important to me than I thought. I actually liked them even if I never admitted it to Nathan.

Nathan Hames is hot indeed but it's more than that...he's not only a bad boy, the guy I used to hate. He's more than that...he's...I don't know. It's hard to explain.

I wished he was more like himself, his true self.
By that, I mean it felt like he was still restricting his true self to come out when he was with me. I think it's because he still hated me or something.

I could go on and on again but it's just the same thing I'm repeating.

After seeing him kiss that guy the other day, I cried for days on end. I even had to tell my friends eventually.