In Waves | ✔️

08 | oh, brother

At the end of class, I've almost past by Mr. Clarke's desk when he asks me to hang back.

"I just wanted to check in. See if you're fine," he says, searching my face. "I don't want to step on any toes, but if someone in class makes you uncomfortable then just let me know so I don't assign you to the same projects or anything."

I'm a little taken aback. Teachers don't usually go the extra mile. Not at this school, anyway.

"That's okay, Mr. Clarke. Thanks."

He folds his arms. "You sure? I know a panicked girl when I see one."

I blink.

"Not that I make girls panic. That came out wrong." He laughs at himself. "I just mean it's clear when a girl is being hassled, which Jay seemed to be doing, so if there's tension and you want me to keep you from working together this year then I can do that."

As enticing as it is, I'm not looking for special treatment. Rachel will always be my lab partner in any case. I politely decline.

"All right, well, you can let me know if you change your mind at any time," he says, picking up the whiteboard eraser. "Oh and those cookies you gave me? Crazy good. Already gone."

I perk up. "I'm glad you liked them."

"Liked them? I was tempted to eat the packet just to get all the crumbs. You gotta tell me where you bought those."

"I baked them."

He stops wiping the board, looking me over in surprise. "I have to admit, Lia, when I saw I had another DeMarco in my class this year, I was a little worried."

"Yeah, that's why I make the cookies. My brother sort of takes away my chance for a good first impression."

"Well, I'm not worried anymore," he says, smiling warmly. "I'm sure it'll be a pleasure having you in my class."

〰️〰️〰️

I can't stop thinking about Carter. Sure I've always known he was a sleazeball, but to actually proposition his best friend's—not girlfriend, but interest? Crush? I don't know. His best friend's something. I didn't think he was that low.

Or was it some sort of weird test that jocks do? Checking to see if I'm loyal enough to make the cut? And even though I hate what he said, a part of me knows he had a point about my experience.

I've never had a real boyfriend. I had about a week of amateur kissing and sweaty hand holding with Sean, and that's it. I have no idea what I'm doing, and is that enough for Matt? Am I enough for Matt?

But when I'm eating lunch with him in the quad, it all fades away.

We're sitting alone at a table, and I wish we could stay in this sunny bubble forever. I wish I could selfishly keep him all to myself. Matt's telling me about his overbearing bio teacher, and I'm distracted by his eyelashes because I've realized they're longer than mine.

He's such a classic pretty boy. A smooth-skinned, full-lipped, button-nosed pretty boy. Prettier than me and most of the people on this floating blue marble.

And now his lips are taking over. I'm watching the way they move when he talks or chews, imagining the feel of them on mine and kissing him at Rachel's party. The temptation is so strong I'd lean over the table and kiss him right here if I had the guts.

"You not hungry?"

"Hm? Oh." I drop from my daydreams and pick up my BLT. "I'm a slow eater."

He smiles, and I'm drawn to his perfect lips again, so I analyze my sandwich like it's the most interesting thing in the world. I've let it sit for so long that the tomato juice has soaked through the bread.