How I Met Your Mother

12 - Ducks

natalie pov

I woke up with a slight breeze in my room. And my arm wrapped around a sleeping girl on my chest.

Not just any girl.

Mackenzie.

She's so beautiful when she's sleeping. The way her mouth is slightly open, her sunkissed hair falling over her face so perfectly. The freckles on her face are really noticeable from this angle.

She is the most beautiful person I think I've ever laid my eyes on.

She doesn't even have to try to look good.

And I hate it. I met her two months ago. And I already have these feelings for her I can't explain.

I don't want her to just be my favorite person for a few months then get distant from her.

It's happened so many times.

My therapist says it's a normal thing for me. For a lot of people with bpd. To have a favorite person for a while. One day my feelings towards them will start to fade until they're gone completely.

And I hate it.

Because I hurt people. I don't mean to. They get so attached right as I pull away.

That's the exact reason why I try to stay away from dating.

I pushed those thoughts out of my mind and looked back down at Mackenzie.

I played with her hair for a moment.

She took a sharp inhale and slowly opened her eyes. Her beautiful grey eyes. "Sorry." She sat up.

LAY BACK DOWN I'M BEGGING YOU.

"It's okay." I nodded, sitting up as well, "How did you sleep?" I looked at the white duvet we were both under, playing with it in my hands.

"Good actually. Really good. Hey Nat?" She waited until I looked at her.

"What?"

"How do you feel about today?" Her face showed genuine concern. Which isn't shocking to me anymore. Mackenzie Valentine is a good person. She cares about me. And all of my friends. But obviously me.

She's referring to my mother's super serious appointment today. When they figure out how bad the cancer actually is. You know, normal stuff like that.

"Oh just dandy." I nodded, giving my attention to the blanket we were still under.

She grabbed my hand, "I'm not going to give you any false hope, but I am here for you. And I know everyone else is too."

I felt the tears in my eyes. "I know." I finally looked at her, "What are your plans today?"

"I don't know yet," She laid back on the bed next to me, letting go of my hand as she did so. She looked at me, "What are you doing?"

I stared at her for a moment, completely unable to look away, "I was just gonna chill here."

You're such an idiot. Who says chill anymore? I never say chill.

She smiled at me while keeping the eye contact. My stomach flipped. "Do you want to do something with me?"

I couldn't fight the smile creeping onto my lips, "Duh."

She practically jumped off the bed, "Get dressed then."

"What are we going to do?" I watched her stretch her back.

"I haven't thought that far ahead," She touched her chin, "Is there anything in particular you want to do?"