Some Thing Called Myself (Complete)

XXX: something normal

Ch. 30: Something Normal

Last night had been a lot, so Mara all but fainted once she and Tai came back to the infirmary.

She awoke from her dreamless sleep when a strong scent made her nose twitch. It wasn't exactly meat, and it wasn't exactly edible, but it was comforting, either like a just-washed blanket or a thick slice of fresh bread. The teeth in her mouth—they didn't feel exactly hers—responded to it alongside her slowing heart. She half-opened her mouth and leaned towards her breakfast, her stomach grumbling with barely-contained hunger as she opened her eyes.

Her shoulders jerked up, and she froze on the hospital bed, horror creeping up her spine.

Kiki slept on the chair beside her, curled up like a cat.

The sudden movement made her groan. "Mara?" Kiki mumbled, rubbing her eyes. Then she sat up, alert as if remembering something. "Why didn't you tell me you were in the infirmary? I woke up and I couldn't find you, and I asked Tai, and I was so scared! Are you hurt?"

As she had done after almost attacking Tai, Mara willed her body to wake up and work. Her heart sped up to a normal rhythm, air invaded her lungs, and a rush of energy enveloped her brain. Mara needed to stay human. She needed to feed in order to control herself.

Fast.

"Mara?" Kiki called.

She tried to answer, but her voice cracked as tears welled up in her eyes. Mara had done enough shit in her life, but she'd never forgive herself if she hurt Kiki in any way. Mara sniffed and sobbed, fear licking her spine. All at once, everything that had happened in the previous weeks came crashing down. The police, the beyond-flesh, the tree, the mermaid, her conversation with Tai....

"What's wrong, Mara?" Kiki asked in a tight voice, little hands searching for her.

Mara reeled back and scrambled out of bed, putting distance between them. "P-please stay away, Kiki," she said, her voice only wisps of sound.

"Are you hurt? What's happening, Mara?"

"S-stay away!" I don't wanna hurt you.

Kiki jumped off her chair. She reached for her cane and rushed out of the room, shouting for help.

The voices and sounds outside tangled in her head as memories of her life in São Paulo returned. Amanda and Lipe had lost their lives because of her, and she couldn't...if the same happened to her sister, she...! Goddess, please. Please.

She didn't want to hurt her loved ones. Not again. Not anymore!

***

"Are you really okay, sweetie?" Jano insisted.

As her mentor, he was the first to show up, followed by Bernardo and Mirtes. Godo and Tai took the longest to arrive in the infirmary, their clothes slightly scorched and ripped here and there.

"I promise I'm okay," Mara answered. She was having trouble meeting people's eyes—hers were still a little puffy—but she made an effort to look at Jano and offer him a smile. "You and Bernardo should head to that meeting. I bet you're busy."

Jano glanced at the clock on the wall and sighed. He opened and closed his hands, his brow wrinkled.

"Go," Mirtes said. "We'll keep an eye on her."

With a nod and much hesitation, Jano got up from his seat. He took a step away from the bed but stopped. The infirmary felt colder that day, and a repetitive thud echoed from the plumbing overhead. Because of that, Jano's expression seemed even more severe as he turned around, the pale light drawing sharp shadows on his face.