And there she was, in the flesh. Her hair still dyed blonde, but curly again like when I saw her for the first time. She looked tired, cynical. Bored. And a little sad. I recognised these emotions instantly as it was the same way I'd been feeling fo...
"I'm so nervous," Kelly fretted, plucking anxiously at a loose thread she'd just found on her coat. She turned to look out of the car window as I pulled off the motorway and started navigating the smaller streets. "What if she hates me?"
I couldn't help but smile. Kelly had been worrying about finally meeting my mum in person for months now. Despite having had numerous conversations with her on the phone, all of which had gone very well. Kelly actually liked phone calls.
Thankfully, apart from that weird character flaw, she was pretty much perfect. We'd just celebrated a year together a few days before and I couldn't believe how quickly the time had flown in.
"You know she already loves you," I assured her, reaching over to squeeze her arm. We'd spent Christmas Eve and Christmas morning in Edinburgh with Kelly's family, and then headed west for Glasgow where we'd spend the rest of the day with my mum and brother, travelling back down to Manchester the following day. Sadly we only had time for a flying visit; we were both too busy with work.
"Thanks." Kelly sighed. "I know I'll be okay once I'm there and we've been properly introduced. Just having a wee freak-out that I'll put my foot in my mouth."
"You won't." I checked the time as we pulled into my old street. Just going on four pm, the time we'd agreed on. I was looking forward to my mum's usual non-traditional Christmas dinner. She served it buffet-style and it was just a selection of all the Christmas type junk food you can buy in the supermarket during the festive season; not a turkey in sight. My mum hated cooking. "God invented M&S Simply Food for a reason," she always said.
"We'll go in and say hi first and then I'll come back out for our bags and presents, okay?" I asked, opening my door. I fully intended to walk around the car and help Kelly get out but suddenly it felt like all the breath left my body.
Oh my god.
Time stopped.
Iona.
She was standing next to what was presumably her car, staring across the street at me. Her hair was still blonde and straightened, and she was wrapped in a purple coat against the cold. She'd always loved purple, I remembered. That pen I'd gifted her all that time ago popped back into my head.
She looked the same. Like time hadn't touched her.
How was that possible?
It had been nine years since I'd last saw her. My insides twisted at the thought. It felt like my heart was pounding too fast in my chest.
I couldn't tell from her face what she was actually thinking. She looked more confused and shocked than anything else.
Fuck.
All of these thoughts took place in less than five seconds. But in that tiny nick in time, everything started to decelerate, as if someone had selected the slow-motion option on life's remote control. For those few seconds, it felt like we were the only two people in the world.
Then Kelly got out of the car and life sped back up, normal play re-enabling itself. And I was reminded of the fact that the girl next to me was my present, possibly even my future - and the girl standing on the other side of the road was the one who had ghosted me and broken my heart.
Kelly cast a curious smile across the road then looped her arm into mine. "Ready?" She asked me.
I nodded, swallowing hard. "Sure," I agreed. I raised my arm to wave in Iona's direction before walking to the house. As I turned to close the door behind me, I watched her car screech away from the kerb.
There she goes, running away again, I thought. Knowing that was unfair but unable to help myself. The bitterness had temporarily edged back in. That unfair feeling of being left behind, abandoned without warning.
"Are you okay?" Kelly asked me, touching my arm. "Was that . . .?" Her voice softened.
I nodded. "Yep." My voice sounded weird. Thick, somehow.
"And . . .?" I knew what she was asking. I shook my head.
"Don't worry. I'm over it, really. It was just a bit of a shock to see her after all this time."
She wrapped me in a hug, and I buried my face in her soft hair. I was relieved that Kelly had been through such a similar situation herself and actually got it. I'm not sure anyone else would have been so understanding.
And as we walked into the kitchen to make proper introductions, I realised just how lucky I was to have found Kelly. Someone I loved and could actually rely on. Who told me how she felt. And who actually loved me back.
I reached into my pocket, my fingers touching my spare key. I had been thinking about giving it to Kelly later as an extra present.
I nodded to myself firmly, decision made, as if seeing Iona after all this time had finally allowed me to close that chapter on my life.
Tonight, I was going to ask Kelly to move in with me.
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