Strings

Chapter 17

Avery

Fact: It's been exactly 5 days since that stupid ball.
Also fact: which also means that it's been 5 days since I've slept right.

No wonder I feel so lousy. Skyler has been such a huge support constantly checking in on me and dropping by whenever she gets time. I appreciate the gesture so much considering I know exactly how busy her lifestyle is.
She doesn't mind, she says. That she actually looks forward to meeting me.
I don't know whether she means it or whether she just wants to be around in case I flip out or something. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if I do.
I just... I just don't know.

Hayden's been completely MIA since that evening. He doesn't say it (obviously, he'll actually have to be around me to say it) and Skyler doesn't say it either, but he's probably just disgusted at the sight of me. More now than usual. Why wouldn't he be. I am disgusted of myself. I feel...filthy.

Thank god to the Knight's immense influence that they were able to absolutely curb the news and not a single article from any measly publishing house or website came out.
There was light gossip but Skyler says that it will quickly die down too.

So all that was really left was me, and the ever present feeling of being abandoned and disgusting, since I couldn't really talk to anyone about it. Skyler forbade it.
It's too much of a risk, she said. To speak about it and have the news leaked out.
The media would give me hell at the slightest sliver of this kinda news so I just had to keep it all bottled up.

I sigh deeply as I make my way to the kitchen.
A nice cup of hot chocolate would do me good.
But I can't bring myself to make anything, let alone hot chocolate.

I groan audibly and realize I need a change of atmosphere. Like right now. I need to get out; it's suffocating being left alone with your thoughts 24/7 with nothing to do.

This leads me to think about my business degree that I worked so hard in getting. I was really looking forward to work someplace decent and in getting some first hand experience.
I am appalled by how easily I convinced myself to wait. It's not fair. Hayden had to marry too and I don't see him waiting around the house aimlessly doing nothing. It's beyond infuriating that I was expected to do the same.

I make a mental note to talk to him about that.
But how?
He's never home and I can't just show up at his office unannounced.

I mean, technically it's my office now too so I should be able to drop by anytime I want.
I quickly shrug the thought away as soon as it came. I am sure he meets with a dozen people and sits through gazillion meetings and business deals everyday. And I've no interest in poking the tiger especially when he's in his zone, in his jungle.
But again, I am not gonna idly sit around waiting for the day he finally thinks I am worthy enough to have a conversation with.
I've a highly acclaimed degree from a highly acclaimed business school and that speaks for itself, I realize with a huff.

Not knowing what to do I call Skyler.
****
I think about what Skyler said. And it did make sense. But I was also hella nervous. I mean who wouldn't be?
According to her it's absolutely completely and a 100% okay if I want to go to the office, I don't need anyone's permission whatsoever.

Okay. That's it. I am doing this.

I go into my room and dress appropriately for an office, with a classy Alice Blue blouse tucked smartly in some jet black work trousers, pairing them with normal sized black pumps.
For hair I leave it open, pinning the loose strands behind and plucking out a few neat strands to curtain the sides of my face.
I keep my makeup light and simple, as I always do, with just concealer, a pretty pinkish-red lip and cheek tint and some mascara.
Hoping, that I do not end up embarrassing Hayden in front of all his work colleagues.