Let me love you

Chapter 3

Ian's P.O.V

I drag the light blue colour on my fingertips along the deep blue on my canvas. The two shades of blue blend seamlessly together after a few light strokes. I pick up a small amount of white as well mixing it with the lighter tone.

I can almost feel the strong waves of the sea hitting my ankles. This is the closest I get to feeling and it's all through lifeless paintings. Small dreams that would never come to reality. That fact doesn't stop me from still dreaming though.

I always thought about how it would feel like being submerged in water. How deep is the water? How would the sand feel beneath my feet? Is it cold? Is it warm? Is it a rough texture? Would I like the feeling of it or not? Would it stick to my skin or is it easy to get it off?

All questions would remain unanswered for eternity or at least, I guess until my parents die. That's another thing that's not going to be happening anytime soon. I don't wish it either.

Is weird but...nothing.

I shake my head focusing on my painting.

I pick up the light beige colour and smother it using my fingers across the canvas. Now how could I give a little texture to the sand?

My phone silently vibrating interrupts my thoughts. I grab a wet cloth that I always have close to me when painting and wipe my fingers as well as I can. I push my chair a bit back rolling closer to my desk and checking my phone.

"Yo, we're going out for drinks tonight, you wanna come?" -F

"You know what my answer is always to that, so why do you keep asking?"

"Well, yeah but I feel bad if I don't let you know what we'll be doing or ask you to join!" -F

"He likes thinking he's a polite person" - E

"Hey! What is that supposed to mean dude? I am polite" -F

Oh, my lord! I roll my eyes.

"Yeah, yeah you're the most polite person I ever came across, " I type.

"Thank you!" -F

"Now you boys play nice tonight okay and have a good time.'' 

"You're going to miss us, aren't you?" -F

"Ugh, no?"  

Why would I?

"Oh, wow! Thanks, dude" -F

"Frankie, we're going to a bar to drink not across the country for a month, why would he miss us?" -E

"He could still miss my annoying ass! What do you mean?" -F

"I mean...yeah okay you have a point there, " -E

What?

"Don't worry Frankie, I can always find another annoying ass to cover for yours for a few hours!" I type.

"Wow! My ass! Replace my ass! Sorry dude you can't, no one is as annoying as me!" -F

"That's true," I text back.

"That's very true" -E

"Fuck you guys!" -F

"No, thank you"

"Sorry, you're not my type" -E

"You guys are the worst! I'm going to shower!"-F

"Why? Oh, did we make you hard?" -E

"You could never! I'm going to wash off your negativity!" -F

I shake my head, Frankie is always the drama king.

Eddie and Frankie are my only two best friends and to be honest, I don't need any more.

I know Eddie since middle school, he is the only one that stood by me no matter what was going on in my house. He is a really good guy, very genuine and understanding. He is probably the one I'll go to if I ever needed advice on something. I can have deep conversations with him, and he is the only one that knows everything that went on in my childhood.

Frankie knows as well, just not everything. We met him in high school, and he stuck with us ever since. I like him. He's the more layback and funny one. He is also very caring even though sometimes it may not seem like it.

Those two are the only ones in my life that can take my mind off of things. Well, maybe the only ones, I'm not sure anymore.

I turn my head towards my balcony looking at the sunset. Its warmth reminds me of the girl next door.

Chloe.

That girl confuses me.

It's been two weeks since we first met, and I still don't know how to feel about her. We've talked a bit almost every single night at our balconies. She is the one to always start up the conversation cause honestly, I don't know how. I haven't had a lot of interactions with girls before. Partially because of my father but also because I never cared enough to meet new people or befriend anyone else.

She seems very talkative and sweet. Very open but at the same time, a bit closed off as well about her thoughts and emotion at least. She smiles a lot and always seems to be in a good mood which is weird.

There is something though about her that makes me feel comfortable around her. I don't know maybe it's because she seems like a caring person.

My thoughts drift back to that one night when she asked me if I will ever open up to her and to be honest, I half lied to her. I never thought of befriending her or talking to her but well that didn't end up as I thought it would.

One part of me wants to tell her because she'll probably leave me alone if I do so and better that happens now than later on when one of us gets too attached. The other part of me wants to almost confide in her, like I said she has that something about her.

Ugh! I don't know what to do.

There are so many thoughts going on in my head that I can't decide which one is the best. Maybe it would be better if I just go with the flow and not wonder any longer about it. If I feel like it, I'll tell her one day and if I don't, I'll just keep my secrets to myself.

I grab back my paint, this time the dark brown colour and start creating rocks with my fingers. As I'm doing it, I think whether the girl next door is on her balcony wondering if I'll show up or not.

Looking back at the glass doors, I debate if I should go for a second.

Looking back at my painting that is half-finished I shake my head and keep on painting.

Maybe not today.

Not tonight.

A/N

What is your first impression of Ian's friends?

Feel free to comment & vote ❤️

I hope you have a great day/night! Xx

Stay safe & stay strong!

All the love - M ❤️