Not yesterday but now

Sleepless night

"Today will be a last day" Arjun mummed to himself. How can he lose her? How he will survive without her? Who is he without her? so many questions occurred in Arjun's mind. 

After some time, all of them went to the chamber of Draupadi. They saw their wife sleep on the couch. She doesn't like to wear heavy pieces of jewelry like other queens, she is different so innocent and so divine. She the most beautiful and rare creation of God. She wore a simple pink color lehenga with some light embroidery and a thin chain around her long neck. Some thin light bangles adorn her wrist and she wore simple yet elegant earrings that perfectly match her lehenga. They can't take their eyes from this divine beauty. They don't want to disturb her.

"Let us wait until she woke up" says the elder Pandav to his beloved brothers. The twins sit on the bed and the elder sits on another couch. All of them silently gaze at her. After the war, this the first time they entered her chamber. The chamber filled with her blue lotus fragrance which can easily make someone mesmerize.

Today her divine face has different radiation and a glow. The small smile on the corner of her mouth makes her the epitome of beauty. She slowly blinked her eyes and shocked to see all of them in her chamber.

"For the first time you ask for something, so here got that boon from God of Dharma" said Bheem with a sad smile.

"But we didn't get exactly what you want, we will remember you and every second we spent with you, nothing else" grief visible in Nakul's voice.

"So, tomorrow our lives will restart" said Sahadev.

"From my birth?" Draupadi asked in a confused tone.

"Exactly" five-voice say in unison.

All of them wish Good luck for each other. There are no other words to convey their feeling. Arjun's eyes looked at her wife with the question. WHY?

All of them retreat to their respective chamber. For the last time, Arjun turned back and pass an assuring smile to her. She nodded and give him a charming smile of hers.

ARJUN'S POV

Why she wanted this? What did she want to convey by this? Is this her wish? Arjun feels like he's going to burst. A lot of unanswered questions running his mind. All the things in his chamber remind her.

The jasmines from the balcony remind him of the first moment they spent in his chamber. She likes jasmine, it suits her. The portrait of their family reminds him of his children. Yes, they not here. Tears trace out from his eyes like a waterfall.

Suddenly Krishna's words rang in his ear. 

"Parth think in Krishna's perspective, don't be selfish"

YES! She is also a woman like others. She is a daughter but who didn't get her father's love, sister of a brother who is no more. Mother of children who leave her and lastly she is a wife who she wants to abandon.

The clever girl wanted this because she knew this is not easy to see someone we love with others. My brothers think that is easy but for sure I know. My girl chose this way, not to hurt us but make us to understand and feel what she went through for so many years.

He tried hard to sleep but her beautiful face made him think about her. "If this is your wish, then I will obey my dear" he said to himself. Slowly lost in his dreamland.

In Draupadi's chamber, as usual, before going for bed she took bath and wore a simple milk-white saree with a simple and thin border. Her handmaid helped her to braid her thick long tress. She slowly walked up to the balcony and sat on the swing and enjoy the cool breeze. Her skin glows under the moonlight. She closed her eyes and asked her inner mind "is this decision is correct?".

The cool breeze slapped her rosy cheek tightly. Her inner mind answered her question abruptly.

"Panchali you didn't revenge them. You just want to make them feel your turmoil and agony, that's it dear. Don't think this is unfair or something. You just want to live a peaceful life that you yearning for from the start. You expect that from your father, your father didn't realize what you want then how can these princes will understand" she blinked open her lotus eyes slowly.

Yes. She merely wished for a normal life like others. She just craved for the warmth of love. Women didn't require money, crown, power, or pieces of jewelry, they just required love, some support, trust, respect, and protection from this cruel world. 

"But what did they do? Think dear" the voice stopped as Panchali recall her past.

They didn't ask her opinion about the marriage. It's merely a loveless marital relationship. They didn't ask for her permission in this matter. As husbands, they must be with her in their year. So they did it!

"As a follower of the Dharma, you didn't oppose them. You have done your job perfectly as a wife. They didn't consider as a woman, you're just a valuable thing for them. Firstly, they share you among them without any guilt and hesitation. If you don't believe then, I have so many examples my princess" the voice stated in an assured tone.

Yes. That's true. There is neither guiltiness nor hesitation in their eyes that day. The feeling their orbs contained is more like pride, as they achieved something big.

"They stake you not their other wives because you're not important like them. They are princes yet they did this to you without thinking about you and your self-respect. Have you known in gambling the professionals will stake their property or their belongings only? For the god sake understand, you're not an object to share or stake, you're a woman who has heart and emotion as others" the voice ranged in a worried tone.

Some hot liquid left her lotus eyes. The past event danced in front of her eyes. Her smooth rosy cheeks became wet because of the tears.

"Do you remember, they promise you that they will never remarry and always protect you" the voice state in a mocking tone?

Draupadi smirked in disappointment. They all remarry and Arjun remarries six times. Somehow she managed and mingle with them without showing her true emotion. The broken mirror can't reflect the image as before. Her state also likes that. The time she realized that they didn't have any feeling for her, she also adopted the reality. She didn't expect anything from them.

They don't even try to pacify her after their marriage. In opposite, they start their marital life with their new partners. In reality, she became freer and spent most of the time in the library and embroidery. 

She slowly recovers from the old wounds. She started to pacify herself. Her fate made her shattered. The infamous dyutsabha not only make her lose her honor but hope that she had on them.

She recalls the promises made by them. She felt a pang on her heart. Her beautiful face turned red due to the continued crying.

"Are they fair to you?" The voice rose. "No dear, don't feel guilty. Everyone has the right to decide their life but unfortunately, this is your first experience in deciding on your own" the voice stated in disappointment.

"This is my life. What is wrong in taking the decision?" she asked as confidence visible in her melodious voice.

"Exactly, they didn't think about you, then why should think about them. You're neither selfish like them nor broke any promises. After done your job, you merely want to live your life. So what is the matter? Just sleep and wait for the restart" the voice assured her so much.

She rose from the swing and went near the bed. She lies and covers herself with a soft blanket.

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