Divine Charity

Chapter Fifteen: No Rest for the Weary

As the girls chattered away about Gala and Pnina, Lena paid close attention to their words, but it was difficult to keep her head from swimming. She needed to focus; needed to learn all she could about this place and its people. Who better to learn from than children with no filter? But as she watched them, her heart ached. How could she ever repay them for everything her impotence caused them? 

What the hell was wrong with her? Blaming herself for the actions of others? No! 

Disgust with herself welled up. She needed to get out. She needed to distract herself. Lena readied the girls and made to leave the grant.

"Lo!" Fiadn called, as he moved forward into her line of sight. "I come in peace."

Lena paused. "I can honestly say it never crossed my mind an alien would tell me he comes in peace."

He cocked his head at her curiously.

She waved her words away. "Never mind. It's Earth humor."

Ever curious, the twins came rushing forward to see who their mother was speaking to. She put her hands out to block them, even as Fiadn moved forward with an affectionate smile warming his features. Her body weight shifted and her chin dropped, eyeing him with an unblinking stare. Her warning was clear.

"We aren't going anywhere with you!" she shot out vehemently. "You've done enough." Fiadn had been the most ruthless interrogator during her time locked up. She couldn't imagine willingly being in this man's company ever again.

Fiadn met her hostile gaze with patience. "As Kravan'n's second, it is my deepest regret it must be I who escorts you. I have been a captive before, madam. I know well your distaste for having to rely on me for your protection, yet I swear to you, I will never allow any more harm to come to you. Upon my honor."

Lena scoffed. "Honor?"

Fiadn met her gaze with a hint of pleading. "I swear to you, I am an honorable man."

Lena chewed her inner cheek as she weighed the pros and cons of following him. There was little choice aboard this synthetic organism of a prison. Lena doubted very much she could escape. Even if she somehow got inside of a forager, she flew helicopters; nothing along the magnitude of a vehicle that could travel in both space and a planet's atmosphere. She would get herself and her daughters killed trying. But it didn't mean she couldn't learn. It didn't mean she couldn't prepare. It sure as hell didn't mean she couldn't tap into and use the guilt Fiadn so readily displayed. The depth of regret she saw in him could be used to her advantage.

Lena decided to follow him and fought against her hate for these people the entire day. Everywhere she went, Lena studied the ship as she never had before. Anger at herself for not being able to learn the language more quickly ate at her. Over the last weeks, she geared her learning toward surviving Fiadn's daily ass kickings. Learning to converse in Ka'al had been difficult, but she was patient with herself because of her stupid belief there was plenty of time to learn.

Now, as she struggled to read the signs which liberally covered the ship and listened to the conversations around her, Lena acknowledged how naïve she'd been. Why she thought traveling with space aliens would be an adventurous, romantic novel with a handsome star king as her hero was beyond her now. It was asinine and there was no one to blame but herself. However, self-recrimination would wait for the day she was free of her abductors. Determination to learn everything about the ship, which she had been too awestruck to learn before, warred against her weary mind. Overly tired and aching with pain meant her wits were not sharp. Several times throughout the day, she fought off random bouts of tears while Fiadn pretended not to notice, but Lena's difficulty in concentration and her sometimes dissociative answers made Fiadn broach the subject of reversing the Narcolumens. Lena pitched a fit, drawing the attention from several passers-by. In no uncertain terms, she told him exactly what he could do with his alien injections. Knowing better than to show his pity, Fiadn nodded. "When you are ready, then."