Breakable Heaven || Sanemi Shinazugawa x Female Reader

Chapter Nine: Vulnerable

[Author's Note]

Hello again, everyone! Since this story reached 1k reads & it's also Sanemi's birthday, here's another chapter to celebrate it! Thank you so much and I hope you continue to support this story!

_

My surprise was evident on my face, and despite my lack of blood, I somehow managed to blush (again) at his words.

Damn these feelings.

It was annoying that he had this sort of control over me - one that was incredibly hard to resist. I found that I was unable to fight against the feeling whenever he would say something out of the blue, as this was how I knew his unfiltered thoughts.

"You're terribly annoying, husband," I lamely shot back with a small smile as I watched him go to the bathroom, completely disregarding my statement.

He reemerged a few seconds later with a small basin and towel as he said, "Let's remove your haori for now. It's almost ruined anyway. It might cause infections if you continue wearing it."

Sanemi had such a guilty expression on his face that I could only look at the tattered remains of my haori, before agreeing with him. He helped me up into a sitting position before gently removing it, folding it neatly and placing it on my side.

My heart warmed when I saw him handle it with care, as opposed to what he usually did with his other belongings. He still remembered that the haori was important to me, and it only made me miss him even more.

A few seconds later, Sanemi faced me once more and attempted to take off my yukata, to which I weakly shook my head in embarrassment.

"Your clothes are ruined, [Y/N]. Be reasonable. Besides, how will I treat your wounds if I can't see them?"

I pursed my lips as I answered, "I can manage."

"No, you can't. You have no other choice too since none of the butterfly estate residents are here. Besides, it's not like I haven't seen what's underneath," Sanemi said in all seriousness, and I briefly wondered if he did not realize the implications of what he had said.

He had seen what was underneath - though it was by accident. It happened while I was enjoying the hot spring at the Swordsmith village as I waited for my sword to be repaired, and Sanemi had carelessly barged in.

"T-that's different!" I protested, my face heating up even more, as I did my best to pull up the blanket to cover myself.

Sanemi sighed in frustration as he asked, "In what way was that different? This is an emergency, let me do my goddamned job already."

"But I weighed you down, Sanemi! I at least have to clean up after the mess I made!" I responded, my tone heavy with guilt, especially when I saw the dried blood on his arm.

Sanemi disregarded me as he proceeded to clean the blood off my arms and legs, before he said in a low tone, "I left you alone this afternoon, which led to all of this."

He then looked at me directly as he added in frustration, "You have no idea how glad I was that I got to you in time. I didn't know what to do. I was so afraid that I would be too late and I thought that I had-"

Sanemi lowered his head as he trailed off, continuing to clean my skin from the dried blood instead. I flinched when he cleaned a cut that was deeper than the others, and he glanced up at me and whispered, "Sorry, I, uh...will try to be more gentle, [Y/N]."

It was absolutely rare to see Sanemi like this - as a matter of fact, I haven't seen him like this at all. He was always either angry or shut off to others, and the mere fact that he was so vulnerable with his feelings right now made me want to hug him.

"Sanemi, look at me," I whispered as I smiled softly, and when he did, all rational thoughts flew out of my head.

He put down the towel in the basin for a while, before shifting his focus on me. I was quiet for a few moments before I was able to compose myself and said, "I'm sorry if I was a burden to you back then."

Sanemi looked as though he wanted to say something, but I lightly placed a finger on his lips before I continued, "As much as it's embarrassing to admit it, you don't know how relieved I was when I saw you," I smiled genuinely at him as I placed a hand on his cheek.

He closed his eyes as if he was in pain and he leaned closer to my hand before saying, "I don't deserve you...anyone with eyes can see that. This is one of the painful reminders of it - because of me...you're covered in blood and wounds," he then opened his eyes and I could see the pain that he felt.

For me.

I shook my head at him and told him gently, "It is I who don't deserve you, Sanemi. I mean, it's quite obvious in rank alone. You're one of the hashiras and I'm merely...on my way there - if I can even stay alive until then. Besides, because of me, your arm got wounded."

"You're going to make it. And I know that you'll make it through your injuries, you've been through worse. As for my wound, it isn't going to kill me, and it's a small price to pay for what I did," Sanemi strongly told me as he gently pressed his forehead against mine.

I unconsciously glanced at his lips before meeting his eyes, and I suddenly became afraid that he'll be able to see right through my thoughts - that I still remembered all the times we had kissed. At that, I averted my gaze from Sanemi, only for him to gently hold my chin and tilt it upwards, preventing me from doing so.

"Let me do this...just this once...please.." Sanemi whispered before he slowly closed the distance between us.

[Extra: Mitsuri Kanroji's Diary]

I hope you're not tired of me yet! And as usual, I'm here to tell you about what I think about Shinazugawa-san and [Y/N].

It is a well-known fact that Shinazugawa-san absolutely loves ohagi, but refuses to accept it if [Y/N] wasn't the one who made it. Since their breakup, Shinazugawa-san would go into town just to buy some, despite the fact that we have some in the headquarters.

He simply knows when [Y/N] didn't make it.

And if that isn't love, then I don't know what it is.

See you next time!