Unwrapping Her Perfect Match

Chapter Seventeen

When John turned to face her, some of her embarrassment fled only to be replaced with concern. He was sweaty and pale and his pupils had dilated. "John, please sit down."

His strong jaw worked from side to side, as if he were biting back everything he wanted to say.

"Sit down. Seriously. It's okay. I know you didn't mean anything by it. I'm not insulted. It was really thoughtful of you to get me something at such short notice." She truly meant it. She hadn't expected any gifts from him. In fact, other than her initial gut reaction when she saw he'd got her a food diary, she mainly felt annoyed that he had gone out yesterday and worried that he would collapse on her now. "Sit. Now."

He sank into a swivel chair and ran both hands through his hair, giving it a hard tug that made her wince. Worry lined his face. "I'm so sorry, Gwen."

"I know, but you don't have to be. I just want you to be okay. Can I take your pulse?" she asked reaching for him, but he tugged himself away.

"No," he snapped. "Don't mother me, or nurse me or whatever it is you're trying to do. Stop trying to make yourself useful. It's unnecessary."

She stiffened. Maybe it was necessary for her. Ever since The Incident, she'd protected herself from awkward situations either by hiding or by focusing on practicalities. Making herself useful meant people would see her value. It meant she would see her own value.

Oh, damn.

"Gwen, I..." He squeezed his eyes closed. "Thank you for being here and everything you've done."

No, no...don't thank me. Don't want me just because I built a bridge between you and your daughter. You just told me I don't need to make myself useful, so don't thank me for it now. Want me for me.

He let out a shuddering breath. "My life is...complicated...right now."

Her heart stopped. It juddered to a dead halt, she was sure of it. When she found her voice, it only had the power to whisper. "What are you saying?"

He finally met her gaze. His was so full of regret that she could actually feel her heart restart with an agonizing thud.

"I'm moving to France. To Toulon."

"Oh." She just...what could she say? "Oh."

So many questions, all of them competing for space in her brain. The only one to pop out was, "When?"

"At the end of the season. Late May, probably. Early June, if we keep doing as well as we have been and make it to the championship round."

"I mean, when did you find out?"

His Adam's apple shifted as he swallowed. "Yesterday. When you were skating with Agnes."

"Oh." God, she felt like a parrot. A really bloody stupid parrot. "Congratulations. That's wonderful news. Agnes will be thrilled."

He reached out and tried to take her hand, but she pulled it back, not sure she wanted him to have it. A muscle twitched at the corner of his eyelid. "I wanted to tell you, but I didn't know how. I'd really like to keep seeing you, but...long term...I don't know-"

"Sure." She nodded as if she completely understood. And then it came to her. She did understand. She understood that she didn't want someone who could promise her a day at a time before he abandoned her. She understood that she wanted more. "Um, I don't know how this will work. I've never had a long-distance relationship before."

"Maybe it doesn't have to be long distance." He gazed up at her from his chair, his expression guarded. "I know this is presumptuous, but...well, have you ever thought about living in France?"