The Nice And Accurate Stories Of The Ineffable Husbands: Good Omens

The Jester

What Crowley didn't know is that Aziraphale had his own way of showing his love, and what he also didn't know was that Hell actually had other plans for him.
It was a normal day, did Crowley had anything else lately?, when the TV started speaking to him, Hastur looked quite funny in cartoons, but what he said actually scared Crowley.
"Crowley" Hastur said "we need you in Hell, you are not done with us, we need to have a serious talk, come find us" the TV switched off.
What on Earth, Heaven or Hell would be that important? Crowley reevaluated his options, should he go back to Hell? Why would he? He lost nothing there, not even a friend, his only friend had always Aziraphale. Of course Aziraphale, he thought should talk this out with him, so he called him immediately, they agreed to meet later, at the park, and even though he knew it would be as always, he felt excited, he needed the angel, Aziraphale completed him, two halves of the same heart, that a few mistakes tore apart, that's how he felt, even if the angel felt each time more distant and Crowley tried really hard to not push him. But this time, Aziraphale did something unpredictable.
The time came and Aziraphale didn't show up, the demon waited, an hour went by, the angel didn't show up, he went back home and tried calling him, he didn't answer, so he went to the bookshop, the light was on, he called at the door, nobody came to open, he gave up.
Lately his plans to see Aziraphale, alone, never seemed to work, so next morning he was determined he would go back to Hell, embrace whatever they wanted him to do, after posting the letter he had been writing all night on Aziraphale's front door, he was mad at the angel indeed, he didn't want to talk to him at the moment, maybe when he got back, but for now the letter should work.

Aziraphale kept calling all morning at Crowley's phone, but he had already left, so he didn't pick up the phone, something Aziraphale didn't know, so he decided to go look at Crowley's apartment, but instead he stopped at the door, to read a note someone had left, Crowley.

"I'm so sorry I need to leave like this, I was hoping I could explain, but instead you didn't show up to the only chance I had, phonecalls don't work either, so I'm leaving this in hopes you read it, I'm going back to Hell, they need me.
I'm tired of waiting for you. I've waited angel, I seriously have, but all I'm getting from you are thoughts about how I am giving more than enough, but you instead are giving me nothing, I feel useless yet amused when I'm around you, you make me go numb at the same time you make me feel every single feeling that exists in this world.
I think I can't take this anymore, I know I'm being selfish, I guess I'm still a normal demon after all, but I can't handle it anymore, I need you, but I feel I can't have you, I just wish you well for the time being. I still love you wholeheartedly, more than ever, and I hope you know that no matter what I will love you for forever. Hopefully I'll see you some day soon.
Crowley"

This wasn't right, Heaven had also called and he could do nothing, he had been away, actually they had taken him away without warning, and he felt so guilty, he couldn't lose Crowley, not now, not ever, he was risking it, he was going to Hell. All the demon wrote in that letter was right, Aziraphale didn't know how to love in fact, he had always been full of the feeling, so he didn't know how to show it to others, sometimes he tried, but he ended giving up, he didn't kiss Crowley anymore because he didn't need it, he felt the love either way so he forgot Crowley might not feel it, he realized he had been quite distant indeed, and now there was no turning back, he would have to fix this on his own.

Crowley had just arrived to Hell to see two very familiar faces, Hastur and Lord Belcebbub, and a not so familiar yet known face, a jester from the 14th century.
Crowley had known him in court, back when he was a knight, he had even tempted the poor soul. That jester had been a miserable boy, kings laughed and payed attention to his acts, but affection was missing, he spent the day between royal blood, yet he had none, and he would never have it. He needed food but the tables never had a place for him, he felt useless, so he was weak, weak enough to fall into a demon's temptation, which eventually he did, but he also became one of Crowley's friends back in the century. Not a friendship like Crowley had with Aziraphale, this was more like if one side gave the friendship and the other side, Crowley, accepted it, but he managed to get kinda close to the demon, close enough to witness one of Aziraphale's and Crowley's encounters, he suspected the had something more than a friendship back in the day, but who was he to care? He was just a jester, nobody had even payed attention to him, he wasn't gonna ruin the little he was getting just for a supposition.
But when death arrived at the door of this poor jester, made him realize that Crowley's temptation had actually sent him to Hell, that the demon actually never payed the attention he needed, the attention he demanded, so when his soul was sent deep down, he swore to get revenge on the demon, and that was what he was there for.
"Oh fuck" Crowley said when he saw the jester, he knew what was coming, it had been a trap all along, Aziraphale was right.