From the Razor to the Rosary (Completed)

Chapter Seven - The Ghost Of You.

  I don't say anything, I stare though, my eyes round as dinner plates as Gerard, yes, the actual Gerard Way looks down at my wrist, swearing and muttering as he tries to stop the flow of blood. 

  "You're alive..." I whisper. He looks up at me, he's different somehow. His hair is a little shorter, and arranged in a mess on top of his head, the black is deep and natural. His skin is still pale, but not the sunken pale that depression had seemed to wither, it glows now, almost translucent. His hazel eyes are no longer sad or drawn, but shine. The dark circles under his eyes no longer exist. He's not even as thin as he had been. 

  "Not alive" he shrugs casually. He grins, it's not forced or even strained. 

  "Is this a joke? Am I dead?" I demand. He looks at me warily, probably detecting the anger in my voice, his eyes search my face hungrily. 

  "You're not dead Had, although you're on your way" he shakes his head at me as if disappointed. 

  "Don't call me that" the sentence comes immediately, I've been telling people that for weeks, only Gerard could call me 'Had', but with him gone it had been too painful, too much of a reminder. The sentence comes naturally now, and Gerard, the one in front of me, scowls. 

  "That's my name for you" he frowns. 

  "And you're dead!" I exclaim, yanking my hand from his grip and holding it against my chest, blood soaks my shirt, and my whole arm has turned numb. 

  "So?" he arches a black eyebrow, just like he used to. 

  "So, you shouldn't be using that name, because you aren't here" I shake my head, pressing myself against the wall and curling into a protective ball. 

  "I'm dead Hadley" he sighs sadly "But I'm still here." he tells me gently. 

  "You shouldn't be" I snap at him harshly. I can't help being mean, yeah I'm glad I can see him again, but he shouldn't be here, I've said my goodbyes to him, I'm supposed to mourn him now, he has no right to come back and bring up all these memories again. 

  Gerard looks at me. Not saying anything, just looks, he searches my face for a long time, crouched on his haunches, his sparkly eyes meeting mine steadily. 

  "You've changed" he states simply after a long time. I don't reply, but I do look down to my wrist, the blood has stopped flowing now, the liquid drying on my arm and gathering in the deep cut, stopping more from flowing out. I wince as the edges of the wound flex painfully. Gerard goes to touch my wrist, but I yank it away, glaring at him. 

  "Don't touch me" I growl. His eyes widen as he looks at me. 

  "It's still me, Hadley" he says softly, reaching out his hands again, I flinch away, scampering back so I'm pressed right into the wall. 

  "No, it's not!" I yell suddenly, I can't help it. I just can't, my emotions are going haywire, my mind a whirlwind of messed up thoughts. "You're dead! You can't be here! You are not here!" I shout, pressing the heel of my hands into my ears. 

  "I am here!" Gerard shouts back, standing up and throwing his hands into the air "I'm right here, Hadley! Look at me!" he yells as I close my eyes tightly, he reaches down to yank my hands from my ears, I shake my head, my eyes closed tightly. "Hadley look at me, it's Gerard, your best friend, I'm right here, look at me!" he shouts, shaking me. 

  "You're dead!" I scream, my eyes shooting open to glare. I stare at him coldly. 

  "You're right, I am dead!" he yells, "But I'm here, I'm right in front of you and I want to help you. We've been best friends our whole lives," the anger drains from his eyes and he sighs, crouching onto his haunches again, looking at me with pleading eyes "We once promised we'd accept each other no matter what. I know at the time we were talking about whether one of us turned out to be gay or one of us turned into an asshole, but it was still a promise right?" he asks earnestly, he grabs my hands and holds on tight, and they are his hands, pale and strong, cold yes, but his hands all the same "Can that promise stretch to accepting that one of us is a ghost?"