It's Not Perfect

Chapter 13

Ryder picked me up from my math class almost as soon as it got out. I couldn't tell who was more excited about our little movie night, me or him.

We stopped at his apartment so he could change into some sweats and a t-shirt, "Stay here, I'll be right back."

I nodded to his instructions and sat down on the couch. But as soon as he was gone I stood up again and walked over to his balcony. The sliding glass door was open and the curtains were blowing in the breeze, gently flowing back and forth. I slipped past them, out onto the concrete structure that overlooked the campus. It was actually quite beautiful up here, able to see above the lush green trees and into the bright blue North Carolina sky. I took a deep breath of the fresh air, it seemed much lighter up here. I was still feeling the effects of my panic attack, like a dull headache and a slight pain in my chest if I breathed in too deeply.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't even notice Ryder step up beside me. He smiled at me then out at the campus, "It's nice out here, isn't it?"

"Yeah. I don't have one of these."

"Feel free to use it any time." Ryder smiled, "It's a great place to sit and think."

A ringing sounded from Ryder's pocket. He checked it but rolled his eyes and shoved it back into his sweats. When he saw me staring he sighed, "It's Xavier. He wants me to come in and train. On Monday when I didn't hear from you I got worried and the only way for me to calm down is to spar either on the mat with a partner or with a practice dummy. I was at the gym almost all day but I haven't gone back since yesterday morning. He thinks I'm going to fall behind on my training. And Anita...well let's just say she's not fond of us spending so much time together."

"Did you guys...you know?" I stuttered, blushing at my overly personal question.

Ryder laughed, "No. Anita and I have been friends for a long time. She's never liked the girls I've brought back to my apartment and I think she might be jealous of you."

I nodded, "Well if you need to go..."

"Nope. I've got a movie date." Ryder smiled, then winked at me. My heart fluttered when Ryder said date but I was able to contain my excitement.

Feeling refreshed, I lead Ryder back to my apartment. The sweats and t-shirt he was wearing fit him perfectly and it took a while to take me eyes off of his gorgeously outlined body.

When we reached my apartment, I had Ryder watch the Little Mermaid first because it's the best Disney movie ever made. Then we made our way through the long list I had made in my math class since I was too excited to focus on equations. By the time it started getting dark outside we had watched; the Little Mermaid, Mulan, Lady and the Tramp, Bed-knobs and Broomsticks, and The adventures of Icabod and Mr. Toad. I was worried that maybe Ryder would get tired of watching so many movies but after each one was over he'd only ramble about how good it was, then ask which one we'd watch next.

After watching Old Yeller, I broke down into tears. I tried to keep them back like I always did but it was hard not to cry when the boy had to shoot the dog that he loved so much. So of course as soon as the shot went off, the water works began. But to my surprise, Ryder wrapped me up in a tight hug and squeezed me tightly as I cried. And I let him, after everything that had happened in the last few weeks, I deserved a good cry.

When I was done I sat up, out of Ryder's embrace, and wiped at me eyes, "Thanks."

He nodded, but didn't press me on the subject. He only asked which movie was next.

So I put in the Lion King.

"More popcorn?" Ryder asked, shaking the empty bowl in front of me. This would be our third bowl full but I didn't have the self control to say 'no' to popcorn.