Loving you is suicide || Dazai x Reader #BSDWattys2017

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I saw Kunikida holding a few Port Mafia members at gunpoint while Kenji held Hirotsu in a tight grip. Closer up, I saw Dazai had his hand resting on Akutagawa's shoulder as he stood behind him. Suddenly, Rashoumon completely disappeared, leaving Atsushi to fall to the ground. The boy groaned loudly.

"Oops! Gomen, gomen, Atsushi-kun!", Dazai yelled over his shoulder. Brown eyes returned to Akutagawa. A shiver ran down my spine. Dazai still had  his ever pleasant demeanor, but, deep in those brown pools, there was a glimmer of pure rage. Dazai had never been a fan of his ex-subordinate, but this was taking it to a whole new level. "What was that about not messing with others who are stronger than you, Akutagawa-kun?" His tone was light and sweet, but it did nothing to mask the hostility in his voice. Akutagawa's face contorted in anger.

"Dazai-san.", He growled lowly. "How dare you touch me with those filthy, traitorous hands!" Akutagawa whirled around, throwing Dazai off of him.

"I see you've made your way up in the ranks.", Dazai said. "It seems the weasel has evolved into a full grown dog." The younger man clenched his fists.

"Don't speak to me like that." Akutagawa warned. Dazai shrugged.

"I also see that you still haven't perfected that trashy ability of yours." Akutagawa flinched. Dazai gave an exaggerated sigh. "Did I ever tell you how much of a chore it was to train you? I'm surprised that I didn't give up." This time Akutagawa wasn't the only one struck by Dazai's harsh words. A feeling, similar to a knife digging into my chest, consumed me. Old, long forgotten memories came flooding back, but I did my best to hold the demons at bay. "Well", Dazai said in a cheery voice, "It seems like our job is completed. Goodbye, Akutagawa-kun." The younger man gave Dazai one last, hate filled look before turning to leave. Kunikida and Kenji shoved their victims forward, releasing them. The Port Mafia members walked away defeated, weaponless and humiliated. Dazai turned to me, concern flashing through his brown eyes.

"(y/n), are you okay?" Reaching down to me, Dazai lifted me to my feet as carefully as he could. I groaned in pain.

"How did you know we were in trouble?", I asked.

"Ranpo-san called us.", Dazai said. "He figured out about the trap and we rushed over as quickly as we could. Kenji-kun joined us on the way" He placed a hand on my cheek, studying me carefully. "You overdid yourself today. I can see it in your eyes." I nodded, which proved to be a mistake. A sharp pain pierced my skull. Dazai gave me a sympathetic look. "(y/n), I know you don't want to hear this, but you'll have to teleport back to headquarters and take Tanizaki with you. The two of you are in critical shape and Yosano is the only one who can fix you up." I stared at him in disbelief.

"D-Dazai! I-I can't!" Pools of brown bore into my eyes.

"I'm not asking if you can do it, (y/n). I'm telling you to.", Dazai ordered. I felt my face pale as images flashed through my subconscious mind as if triggered my Dazai's words. "We are too far away from the Agency to get you both there on foot. You have to do it, (y/n)." 'You have to do it, (y/n)!', a younger Dazai said. I wanted to scream. My memories and reality were blending together. I looked up at Dazai, I no longer saw the suicidal maniac of the Armed Detective Agency-- I saw the monster of the Port Mafia. I recoiled away from him.

"As you wish, sir.", I said quickly as I bowed my head. I limped over to Tanizaki's listless body, wrapping my arms around him, unaware of the stunned brown eyes following my movements. I placed a gem in my bracelet before muttering my ability in a weak voice.

Dazai watched as (y/n) disappeared with Tanizaki, completely dumbfounded. She had just said 'As you wish sir.' 'As you wish, sir.' These words were all too familiar to Dazai. The way (y/n) had just looked at him a moment ago also struck him. She was afraid. Pinching the bridge of his nose, Dazai realized what was happening. (y/n) was having flashbacks again. Little did she know, that was one of many symptoms that came with her ability. Dazai had noticed it in the beginning, when he first trained (y/n). The harder she worked her ability, the more she seemed to space out. Dazai was surprised that she would start having these symptoms again. Maybe she was using her power too much, or maybe there was another reason...

~~~

I roughly landed on a smooth floor. Unbearable pain went through my entire body. I felt Tanizaki stir and groan next to me. Weakly, I lifted my head searching for another member of the Agency.

"Oooh!", a female voice cooed, "What do we have here?" I vaguely heard the sound of approaching footsteps. "Patients?" Insane pools of pink were the last thing I saw before blacking out.

840 words, unedited