Everything She Is ✔️

Chapter 6: Like a Rebellion

(Katherine McNamara as salty Scarlett)

Chapter 6: Like a Rebellion

People always say, 'there is nothing to be ashamed of' whenever you do something wrong or you look weird.

My dad told me when I was little that being yourself is nothing to be ashamed of. That when you are yourself, even when people judge you, it won't really matter in the long run.

I used to think that shame is such a stupid emotion. That only the weak felt this overwhelming sickness. But as I grew, as I matured I learned what this awful feeling was like. I learned first hand what it felt like to feel ashamed of my family name. I found out what it was like to be ashamed of the person I've become. I felt ashamed whenever I let my parents down.

This feeling, it pushed me to become better. To win every game. To get the perfect grades. To be the testament of a perfect daughter, but sometimes the shame creeps back up and eats away at my conscience.

Right now, sitting in a jail cell, the shame is creeping up on me. It's eating away at my soul, and all the choices I've made in the last six years of my life.

I feel ashamed of knowing that I once again have disappointed my mother. I feel ashamed of betraying Cleo, and kissing Will. But most of all I feel the shame of letting myself become croupt by something that I never believed in.

Officer Lewis was right, I am a fake girl. I am a role model to so many little girls, but I basically teach them that it's okay to buy into the superficial life of popularity and to hide their true self.

They dream of being like me, a star athlete, a good student, a good daughter, but here I am doing exactly what I teach them not to do.

"Quinn Marilyn Hemmings." I hear the shrill voice of my mother echo in from down the hall.

After a brief moment of mental preparation which consisted of listening to the clicking of her heels on the old title floor, she arrives at my cell, and I can feel the burns on my head from her glare.

I look up to be faced with the scolding face of my mother, her leather gloves in one hand, and her pea coat draped over her shoulders, she is the image of class and perfection- something as much as I've tried I could never really be. I stare at her in silence as my feet dangle from the metal bench I'm seated on, silently waiting for my mother to scold me.

"Quinn Marilyn, this is highly unacceptable. I cannot believe you did this." She whisper-yells at me through the bars of my cell.

"Not only were you caught underage drinking, but you were also caught having a party at the lake house. The same lake house you and Cleo were staying at this weekend." She glares at me, and I just hang my head low. I know what I've done.

I tried to get her to understand and read between the lines, but she never did. She sees this as all too sudden. Like a rebellion.

"Do you have any idea what this could do to us? To our family name? I am the Governor of this god forsaken state, and you are known state-wide, almost nationally as the fierce All American Girl. " She bites out, disappointment lacing her words.

And after a moment of silence, she asks, "Do you even care? Do you even care what you have done could not only jeopardize our family's future, but also your own?" She asks, bitterness all the too evident.

"Come on, you are lucky that I was able to make this go away. You can thank your daddy for donating so much to the police department." She says, as she beckons one of the officers to open my cell door for me.

I look down as I follower her out of the holding cell area, and to the front desk to get my shoes and phone.

"Governor Hemmings, a pleasure meeting you." the Officer retrieving my stuff says to my mother, and she plasters on her fake smile, and exchanges pleasantries with the officer.