The Silent Deceivers

Chapter 5

 

My Worst Nightmare… … …Comes True

  

It was a few days after my family’s death. I was beside myself with grief. I didn’t know what to do. I wouldn’t sleep, I wouldn’t eat and I wouldn’t talk. I didn’t cry either. I was lost in a state of pure shock and numbness.

My mind was turning like a windmill going over and over what I had been told. I was devastated but most of all I was terrified. It was out of my control. I didn’t know what would happen to me. Where was I going to live? Who would look after me? Am I going to be sent to Australia? Why did this happen? What did I do?

The day after I had the visit from the Police, I stayed in bed, I thought that if I stayed in bed that it would all be a horrible nightmare that would soon be over, but it didn’t work. I sat dazed on the floor in the living room, surrounded by all of the old photo albums, I could find. I turned off my phone; I was not in the mood to talk to anybody. Abby kept calling me every five minutes to check I was still breathing as she put it and Sam kept trying to comfort me but I just pushed him away. I remembered what my mum had said to me when I was eight, when my granddad died, she told me that I had a right to shut down, to be upset but I mustn’t push the people who love me away. Think about that carefully! What could I do? All the people who loved me were gone.

The police kept me informed about what was going on. They also told me that sooner or later their bodies would have to be formally identified, since I was only fourteen I could not identify their bodies myself so a relative or a family friend would have to do it. My only other family members lived in Australia, so they couldn’t do it. My Dad’s parents were dead and my mum was an only child. The only family member who could do it was Auntie Beatrice but I didn’t want her to do it. It would have to be a family friend. I decided to do it sooner rather than later because it would help me ‘move on’, or so I was told.

I picked up the phone, dialled Abby’s number and put on a brave voice.

 “Leah, oh my god, I’m so sorry. How are you?” She answered.

“Hey, I’m alright.” I replied.

“Don’t lie to me.” she said. “Listen, you can stay with us if you like, Mum won’t mind.”

“Thanks, but I’m fine! Sam’s staying here for a while. It’s not great but at least I’m still connected to them.” I assured her. “Abby? Would you do me the hugest favour?”

“Yea of course I can, what is it?” she replied.

“Please could you ask your parents if she would go to the mortuary and identify my parents for me?” I finished quietly.

“Are you sure you don’t want to wait a few days?” She asked.

“No, I want to get it over with; otherwise it will be playing on my mind.” I sighed.

“Ok, if you’re sure! I’ll go ask.” She said and the phone went silent for a couple of minutes but in the impatient mood I was in it seemed like forever.