When The Canary Sings

Dead or Ashamed?

First Person: Becca Blue

*

I stare out into the crowd, realizing that most of the citizens of District Three have the same shade of ashy skin. Effie said it was developed from working so close to silver all the time. Their district was full of tall buildings and green all around.

Green was the color Chip wore in his interview. Green was the color of Trixie's dress, and her eyeshadow. Green is the color of his ring that I wear around my finger. Green is the color of my eyes, and the grass of the meadow, and green is the second name of my best friend.

Except here, the green is bright on my eyes, shining, beeping and flashing.

There would be no singing today.

"My heart is full of sorrow as I stand before you all today. District Three, the heart of technology, the brains of the country, and the district I owe so much to." I start off, I take a deep breath and look back towards Haymitch. He nods. "Where do I even start?" I ask myself, and the crowds. "Chip and Trixie were both my saviors. When I first met them, I knew, I just knew that we could survive."

Chip's mother is all alone on her pedestal, she looks at me with sorrow in her eyes. I feel it. Trixie has seven siblings, all look older than her. They stare at me, a mixture of sorrow and hatred in their eyes. Her mother is sobbing, and her father is trying to keep himself together.

"Trixie," I say, "she has to be the smartest person I've ever met. She knew just about everything. How to wire the mines, how to use the medicine properly, she knew strategies, and knew seemingly everything. She was kind, sweet, and caring. I'll never forget her, and my heart and soul goes out to her family." I say, and a gleam of light hits my eye. I squint and look towards her family, where I see one of her older brothers holding up the golden coin, reflecting the light from the sun and sending it my way.

"And Chip," I say, and I blank, what the hell do I even say? "He changed me. For good. Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes the sun. He taught me so many things. Like resilience in the face of utter hopelessness." I say, and my voice cracks. I bite my tongue and swallow. I can't cry. "There is not a day I don't look to the sky and thank him, and there is not a day I do not mourn him." I say. "My heart goes out to his family." I say, my eyes flicking up to his mother, then down to my finger, where his ring rested.

I take a step towards the stage, and the peacekeepers shift their stance.

I move through them. The crowd parts for me, each of their jaws dropping as I make my way to Chip's mother.

The peacekeepers follow me, but never reach out to grab me. I walked up the stairs to the top where his mother stood. My heart breaks seeing her. She looks just like him. She's all alone.

In Twelve, when you want to show the utmost respect to someone, usually an elder, you kneel at their feet. I'm not sure about other districts, but that's how it is in 12, so as I reach her, I kneel at her feet and bow my head. To add, I press three fingers to my mouth and raise it in the air, an old funeral symbol. I hear her sob, but she pulls me up, and into one of the most bone-crushing hugs.

"Thank you." she whispers in my ear. Why is she thanking me? I killed her son?

She lets me go, and I take her hand and slip the ring onto her finger. She cries again, but this time hovers her hand over my head and whispers something that only I can hear.

"May you be guided to the happiest and healthiest of futures, and may you live a long and plentiful life. May you find happiness in every corner, and may you find peace. May your feet take you far, and your brain even farther. My daughter, Becca Blue." She whispers, and just as she finishes a small prayer, I am pulled away from her and dragged back up to the microphone. They grip my arms tightly and just drag me. My eyes stay locked on his mother, and sometimes Trixie's older brother who holds the coin.