Chapter 16

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"BABY SIS!" a chorus of voices shouted in unison from my phone, the sound warping the speakers to the point where they threatened to blow out.

Several faces smooshed together to be seen on the screen, brown sets of curly hair, and bright eyes took me in with overly large grins. Every time I called home it was a loud mess of warm greetings before my six brothers demanded to know if they needed to 'take care of anyone.' An inside joke that they had proven was not quite a joke.

"Hey guys!" I shouted over the sound of something falling in the background on their side of the conversation. My family's three German Shepherds barked in response to my voice, adding to the noise.

"Who's on the phone?" my dad shouted in the background over the sound of the tv blaring.

"IT'S LIL!" all my brother's responded, causing the dogs to howl again.

"Tell her we say hi!" mom replied, voice fighting to be heard over the television and the dogs. 

Hearing the chaos of home was a comfort, and I suddenly missed the loud, overly protective mosh pit that was my family. Everything about them was vibrant, loud and chaotic. Like my own personal carnival.

I smiled at myself in the mirror as I added eyeliner. Maybe that's why I love the carousel. It's the horse version of my family.

Adjusting my red cardigan, I took myself in in front of the bathroom mirror, looking down at my black and white polka dot dress with a bright smile.

I look beautiful. I... I am beautiful, I clarified.

It felt important to make that statement. Especially if I was going out on a date. I would need all the healthy self talk I could think up before going out.

"Woah! Looking fancy! You heading out on a date with Liam?" Will shouted over the sound of our house cat getting into a fight with one of the dogs in the background. He shoved my other brother's aside so he could see me better. Will was the youngest of the boys, a year older than me, and our small age gap had made us close. We were the smallest in a house full of big brothers and bigger personalities.

"No Liam," I said as casually as I could. I hadn't told my brothers about being dumped. I didn't wanted to bring the full force of the Autumns boys down on Los Angeles. They caused enough chaos in Montana.

Will grew quiet, even as the others continued to shout questions at him to ask me in the background. He tried to read my face, even as I ignored the screen, applying mascara.

Dash had suggested to Allie that I be set up on several more practice dates. She had agreed. Apparently, Dash wasn't intimidating enough as a long term solution, nor was he one to inspire me to build up healthy boundaries with people I didn't know. I was too comfortable with him.

So there I was, prepping to get ready to go out on my first REAL date.

Stupid Terrible Coffee Making Dash. Stupid Traitor.

Getting to know people in a potentially romantic way was utterly terrifying, so before I threw myself into the chaotic dating ring, I had called home, itching to have a bit of normalcy. But with that impulse, I had forgotten how well Will tended to read my face.

"Lil'," he said, concern puckering his brows.

"Later," I said in my best attempt to sound nonchalant.

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