Bridgebuilder

Used

"And?" Alex was thoroughly confused as to why she seemed upset at this. Szhaan had just been another word she'd left behind, as far as he knew. There didn't seem to be anything else going on in his head.

Carbon stiffened and looked at her hands, fingers knitted together in her lap. "I am sorry. I was not entirely honest about what happened when I linked with your mind."

"Alright." Alex had thought this was going to be a pretty straightforward question to answer, just define a word - which did happen. He was now one Tsla word smarter. It still felt like he'd come no closer to an actual answer, though. "And?"

"There are... Tsla'o need - to feel at ease - we need to have a certain amount of emotional contact with others." Carbon edged away from him in her seat, voice getting softer and softer as she spoke. She looked like she expected him to reach out and hit her. That did fit his understanding of the Tsla'o view of humans. Brutish and quick tempered. "Other Tsla'o."

"I'm following what you're saying here, but I still don't understand where you're going."

She exhaled, a plaintive sigh the only sound in the sickbay. "While I did inspect your mind to see if you still lived, I also lost control of myself and used it to experience that emotional connection without your permission."

He nodded slowly. "Okay. I can tell this is a big deal to you, but I'm not picking it up. Accidents happen sometimes. You're good."

She looked up at him wide-eyed, shaking her head. "No, I am not good. This is not just an accident. Even if it were, it is not one that can be dismissed so casually!"

He found himself exasperated at this but still tried to hide it, closing his eyes and exhaling to calm himself down. This was what Alex had asked for, after all: a greater understanding of Tsla'o culture. He sounded positively understanding when he spoke. "Look, I don't feel like anything untoward happened. You expect me to feel violated by this. If you want me to feel that way, you're going to have to explain it so I can understand it."

It seemed to settle her down a little, crystal blue eyes searching for a place to start. "What do you know of my role as Lan?"

"You're an engineer." That's what he'd been told. Shipmaster was just an overly fancy way of saying it. Which is why she'd been installed as on the ship, presumably she had the credentials for it. "Chief engineer specifically."

"That is the function I serve here." Her lips pulled tight for a moment and she tapped her claws together in a gesture she'd never done in front of Alex before, clicking them quietly. "A Lan oversees a ship. Normally one much larger than this."

Alex nodded. "I'm following so far."

"We stand as a component of the command staff. The captain is still the captain. The head of engineering is still just that. A Lan can step into any of the command roles temporarily. While I am drawn to engineering as a specialization, the training is more about building and maintaining the interpersonal connections of all the crew, with a focus on the command. Though I often assisted in monitoring the mental and emotional well-being of the rest of the crew as well."

The edges of the puzzle were starting to come together, even if he wasn't sure what the picture was yet. "That is a lot more complex than I'd been led to believe."

"It was a difficult path to take. I had thought that difficulty had prepared me for this, but I did not understand how arduous it would be. I knew the maintenance would be unending, that is the nature of a running ship. The isolation was crushing. I did not know how alone I could feel even with another person present." She paused and exhaled, "I do admit that I did nothing to help the situation. I ignored my training and suffered for it."