The Sympathizer

Chapter 13

Lazarus stands front and centre, his face a mask of worry as we descend the spacecraft. I haven't eaten for the past few cycles, the grief and paranoia surrounding Alya's death makes it hard to look at food. 

I walk down the ramp, feeling slightly light headed when he greets me. 

"Luna, I'm so glad you're alright. You have no idea how worried I was." Lazarus immediately pulls me in for a hug, wrapping his strong arms around me and it is the first time we've embraced at the army base. 

Almost every soldier's eyes mirror his movements and I stiffen, wondering if this is all for show. How true are his words and how genuine are his expressions? 

He releases me and holds me at arms length, studying me cautiously. His eyes traverse my face and then flit down my arms and legs. I wonder what he is looking for. 

Lucian walks down to join us and I catch Lazarus's gaze that narrows with laser focus on his adversary. My thoughts are swimming, all jumbled up and conflicting. 

A part of me believes there is no way he would put me in harms way. Yes, Lucian and him have always had a competitive past but not me. 

He wouldn't want to hurt me, much less kill me, would he? 

Lazarus smiles at Lucian, his eyes crinkling with false fondness. "I'm so happy you both are okay." 

It's so easy to tell that he is lying but why can't I do the same when he's talking to me? Lucian told me he met with Earth's leaders just two cycles before our assassination attempt. Why didn't he share such a visit? 

The question lingers on the tip of my tongue. I am so tempted to whisk him away to somewhere private where we can talk but there is something holding me back. Would Lazarus tell me the truth? Or would I push him further away if I antagonised him? 

My head starts to pound, the lack of food and inner conflict is starting to affect me physically. Lazarus's grip on my arm tightens, he's saying something but it doesn't quite register. I notice Lucian drawing closer, his arm raised like he wants to push Lazarus away. 

There's a mild throbbing under my skin, Lazarus's grip is unrelenting but I barely register the discomfort. 

"She must be in shock." I finally hear their conversation but my brain is questioning every single word, like their being sifted through a filter.

Just then Commander Bardotta walks up to us, a barricade of soldiers surrounding him just as our squads form a protective circle around us. 

"Precursor Generals, it is an honour to see you back here alive and well." He bows and the other officers gathered around the base follow his gesture. Soon everyone is bent over, giving us a clear view of the giant induction building just beyond the army base. 

I'm too busy staring at Lazarus. At how he basks in all the attention and respect. It is the first time I feel something other than awe for him. A small tiny seed of resentment has been planted deep in my gut, I feel it branching out slowly inch by inch, my observations spurring its growth. 

"The pleasure is ours." Lazarus answers for us even though he wasn't the one who'd just returned from what was supposed to be a diplomatic visit. 

"The war council has been waiting for you to land. We must discuss what happened on Earth immediately." Commander Bardotta says urgently. He turns to the side, holding a hand out and his officers rush to clear the path for us. 

"I agree. We should discuss this act of treason immediately." Lucian's voice is as sharp as a whip and I notice him glance at Lazarus, his insinuation not at all subtle.