ᴍʏ ɢɪʀʟ || ᴄᴏɴʀᴀᴅ ғɪsʜᴇʀ

day before

It was the before the debutante ball, so Belly, Steven, and Jeremiah weren't home very much.

Loud noises start coming from Conrad's room, so I go to his room.

"Whatcha doin?" I ask as I walk in.

"Trying to dig up my suit from my closet." He laughs.

I walk over to his bed and sit down. "Your mom kept my dress right?"

"Yeah, it should be in her closet." He says as he pulls out a big white bag. "Here's my suit!"

"I'm gonna go get the dress." I smile before getting up and leaving Conrad's room.

"Okay." He smiles at me. I was addicted to that smile.

I walk down the hallway to Susannah's room, and knock on the door.

"Come in!" She yells as I walk in. "Oh hI Val!"

"Hey," I smile. "Conrad said you have my dress?"

"Oh, yes!" She grins as she starts to sit up. God it was so depressing. I could see her strength slowly go away, and she had no idea I knew. She starts going through her closet, but picks up a picture frame instead. "Oh my gosh."

"What?" I ask.

She handed me the picture, and it was a picture of me and Conrad at the Debutante ball when I was a deb. It was of me smiling at Conrad as he handed me a bouquet of flowers.

"Aw." I smile as I admire the picture.

"You can keep that." She smiles.

"Can I?" I ask.

"Of course." She smiles as she picks up another picture frame. "Look at this one! It's from your eighth birthday party of you and Conrad!"

Eventually me and Susannah were sitting on her bedroom floor looking through old pictures of my childhood.

"Hey mom-" Conrad says as he walks in. "Woah."

"Oh my gosh Connie come look at these photos!" Susannah smiles.

Conrad sits down next to me and starts looking through photos.

"This one's my favorite." Susannah smiles as she hands Conrad a picture of them, where Conrad was a young kid hugging Susannah while holding a sign that said 'I graduated kindergarten!'

I see Conrads smile drop as he looks at those old photos of him and his mom.

"I miss my little Connie." Susannah smiles.

"Well he's not here anymore." Conrad scoffs before getting up and storming out of the room, slamming the door shut.

Susannah's eyes fill with tears as she watches her bedroom door shut. We looks at me and quickly looks away, wiping her eyes. "Lets get you that dress."

We go through her closet and eventually find the dress.

"Can I try it on again?" I ask.

"It's your dress." She smiles.

Susannah helps me get the dress on, and eventually Jeremiah and my mom come in to the room.

"Laurel she looks just like you." Susannah smiles.

"I guess she does." My mom smiles.

"Well we know where Val gets her beauty from." Jeremiah smiles to my mom as he takes one of my hands and spins me around as I giggle at Jeremiah.

From the hallway I see Conrad standing out there, and he just has a half smile on his face, and I just look back.

I was pissed off with him. I understand that he's mad about knowing his moms cancer is back and she's gonna die soon, but out of all people his mom should be the last one he should be lashing out on.

After I put the dress in my room and change back into my normal clothes, I go knock on Conrad's door.

"Come in!" He yells.

I was in and shut the door behind me. "Conrad."

"I know." He sighs as he puts his head in his hands. He was sitting on the edge of his bed.

"Conrad of all people why would she be the one you lash out on?" I ask.

"I'm sorry." He says quietly.

"Just because she doesn't know that you know mean you can still lash out on her." I say as I sit down next to him.

I hear him sniffle, and realize he's crying.

"Connie." I sigh.

"I'm so sorry." He cries.

He looks at me and I open my arms, and hug him.

"It's like when I get upset my first reaction is to just get so mad." He rants.

"Connie that's the only way you've been able to express your emotions recently, don't feel bad about it." I say. "I would say that you need to control it but you're going through so much right now that all of this is understandable."

"She's my dying mother and I lashed out on her." He cries.

"It's okay Connie, just breathe." I say softly while rubbing his back.

Suddenly, his breathing starts getting rapid and I could feel his heartbeat getting faster and faster.

He was having a panic attack, something I used to struggle with before I was medicated for anxiety.

"What's h-happening to me?" He panics.

"Conrad come on sit on the floor." I say as I guide him to the floor, and have him lean his back against his bed.

I sit in front of him; and he grabs my hand and holds it.

"Look at me Conrad." I say as he looks at me. "I want you to focus on my breathing and do exactly what I do okay?"

"Okay." He chokes.

I breath in through my nose and our through my mouth multiple times, and eventually he starts to calm down while copying my breathing.

"You okay?" I ask.

"I-I think so." He stutters. He looks down at our hands that were clasped together. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize." I smile.

"What was that?" He asks.

"A panic attack." I say.

"Like the ones you got when you were younger?" He asks.

"Yeah, exactly." I say.

"I'm so-" He starts.

"Conrad I swear to god if you apologize." I laugh.

"Yeah yeah, i'm sorry." He says before we look at each other and laugh.

Suddenly Jeremiah swings the door open.

"Dinners rea-" He starts. "Woah, what's going on in here?"

"Nothing, we'll be down in a minute." I laugh.

Eventually we go downstairs and eat.

The whole dinner I was replaying the sight of Conrad sobbing in my arms struggling to breath. I knew it would stick with me.

"So," Susannah smiles. "Are you kids excited for tomorrow?"

"Very." Steven says.

"I'm nervous and excited." Belly says.

"I'm excited." Jeremiah says.

"What about you guys?" My mom asks me and Conrad.

"I'm very excited." I smile.

"Me too." Conrad says. "Wait, will I have to do the escort dance again?"

"No, just the main ball slow dance." Susannah laughs. "Jeremiah and Steven get to do it though."