Earth, 35th Century. You can cheat death by downloading your consciousness into a Virtual Universe, with thousands of imaginary worlds to choose from, and countless 'lives' to be 'lived.' But someone of vital importance to the Virtuaverse has been m...
"So, Jake – there we were, in Mare Imbrium, when these soldiers show up, pulse laser cannons drawn and ready, when Les strolls up to them and says...
""Jesus H. Mouse, boys," yells Les, picking up the story, "Who pissed in your synth-beer?"
"And they shoot a two-foot-wide hole in him," Tessa finishes.
"No one survives a shot from a pulse cannon," Jake drily comments.
"How is it your pretty butt's still here, Les?" asks Clarissa, batting her new eyelids and showing off her new sparkling new dentures.
"It was a holo-show, honey," says Holly, "and our Les was in on it."
"You weren't even there!" chuckles Sunny, who's sipping one of Jake's new creations celebrating Team Crow Feather. Her signature drink was a multi-fruit concoction called 'Sunny Dee-Lite,' served in a spiky leather and metal tumbler.
"How many times have y'all told this story now? Twenty? Thirty?" Wanda asks, wearing her hottie honey husk and chugging her 'That's Not Normal Iced Tea.'
A chorus of beep-boops issues from behind the bar, and a familiar voice blares out: "Incoming transmission for Daniel Crow Feather."
"Hey there, Pixell Mama! How's the kid? How's Lisa? How's the transition of Virtuaverse power coming?"
"Well, shit!" the best Librarian and Team Crow Feather's newest parent, "I've spent hours perfecting my 'Cortina' voice, and I can't seem to fool anyone! They're both fine, thanks. As for the transition, well...I want to hire the team to locate a missing major player. Last we knew, he'd been heading your way."
"This pain-in-my-ass player have a name?" But I had my suspicions already.
"Yup. It's the last male Murkerberg. Nineteen-year-old Tyler, the son. He wants to contest his dad's will. Threatened to kidnap Bird, in fact, if he didn't get his demands met."
Now, that pissed me off. "Bird's in school, and I pity the stupid bastard who tries to mess with him. Wanda and I will start tomorrow." I don't see my favorite partner anywhere.
"She left with Les, Boss." Jake stayed on, out of sheer stubbornness. [Yes, I bought the place. A good investment, now that the Chicago Library was undergoing a 6-year renovation.] I'd invested a tidy sum in starting up Banzai's Lectroid Diner Delivery Service, and Jake's signature red roof is moving up one floor to make room for Penny's Nickel and Dime Cafe. Grand Opening is set in about six months. You're invited, of course.
As for this new wrinkle in what was supposed to have been a closed case, I was pretty sure I'd have it all settled in a few days. I have my team backing me up. I'm not ashamed to admit, that's a good feeling. Solo is okay, but you can get jumped once too often. And yours truly isn't gettin' any younger.
I sent a message to Wanda via my craniaI chip, stepped outside the door, and made my way to my new model 1396-110 convertible Cadillac.
I was ambushed by five fourteen-year-olds, who broke a few ribs, took my keys and drove off in my car. Some things never change. What's more, they called me 'saggy-assed.'
Goddamn effin' kids.
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