The Collective

Chapter Nine

I groaned. I didn't want to wake up, not just yet. The bed was so warm. I pressed my face into the pillow.

     I froze. This wasn't mine. None of this was mine. I jerked upright. My head throbbed, forcing me back down. Blue lights floated up from the floor, illuminating the gray room. It was concrete? Or some kind of bizarre natural stone concoction?

I sat up slowly. Something poked into my thigh. Okay, these pants were definitely not mine. I took a giant envelope out of my pocket. It was full of papers. All of them started with "Dear Alex." The caves, with the tunnels, the kitchen, and the computers, and the Orange Man... it all came rushing back.

I stumbled to my feet. I kept one hand on the bed. The world slipped and slid from side to side. I picked a spot on the ground, except that kept moving, too. I clutched the door frame with both hands. I forced myself to breath. Inhale, exhale... breath.

"Hey, what are you doing? You're not supposed to be up." It was the Orange Man, except he was notably not orange.

I nodded. That was an excellent point. In fact, never moving again seemed like the way to go. I stumbled towards the bed. This was like a hangover, times ten. I'd gotten drunk a few times in college, and it never felt like this. But that was a long time ago. Maybe this was exactly what it felt like.

The Orange Man waited for me to sit up. He put a tray in front of me. There were pancakes and biscuits and eggs and bacon, and a huge glass of orange juice. He pulled a couple of aspirin out of his pocket. He handed them to me. "You need to eat before you take these."

I nodded. "What happened? Where's Max?"

He looked away, picking on his fraying sleeve. "He left. Sarah kinda drugged you. He didn't want to wait."

That was great. Just great. I picked up the biscuit. My stomach turned. I put it back down, hesitantly sipping the juice. Nothing happened. I drank a little more.

Orange Man stood up, apparently satisfied. "I have some stuff to do. You're welcome to get up. After you eat."

I nodded. Food is good, most the time. I pushed the food around my plate. It looked like slime. I breathed in a little too deep. I scrambled off the bed, dry heaving.

Yeah, I was never eating again.

Ethan

I tensed, every fiber of my being insisting that I run. Oversight needing to talk to you was never good.

"Max, give us a moment, will you?" Oversight's tone left no room for discussion.

Max smirked. "Yeah, it's not like it was inconvenient for me to drag this idiot out of the woods." He walked out, trailing off.

Oversight stared after him. She shook her head. Max could get away with almost anything. She basically raised him. And by that I mean she groomed him to be the best possible agent. Except for one, small problem. Max was a hot mess. He forgot what he was doing halfway through and he rarely had a plan, much less enough of one to stick to.

Oversight stood up, stopping in front of her bullet-proof windows. She didn't say anything. She clasped her hands behind her back.

I cringed internally. My feet felt heavy as I came to a halt next to her. Just get on with it... I hated being in this office, or anywhere near Oversight, period. She was like the queen of the dark side. Her very presence made it hard to breath. The sound of her heels clipping across the floor brought grown men to their knees. She could end my life without lifting a finger.

"Did you need dinner? There's this great place on 13th." She gestured in that general direction.

"No, thank you. There were some pretzels on the plane." Not technically a lie. I did like street food, but Oversight met the head-chef on the streets in Singapore. She brought her and her family over in exchange for running a restaurant that was a money laundering front. It wouldn't be hard for them to slip poison into my food. They would do it, no questions asked. They were head over heels for Oversight.

"Right to business, then. As you know, we've had several security breaches over the last few years. Money disappears, and the enemy knows where we are before we do. I have my suspicions, but I can't check without tipping off the mole."

My chest tightened, fingernails digging into my palms.

Oversight walked past me, pulling her desk drawers open. "I need you to find the mole. You have my full support, and I will get you whatever you need."

I swallowed hard, forcing the word out. "No."

She turned towards me. "No?"

That wasn't the right thing to say, but I meant it. "I want out. I'm done. I'll wrap up my current repots, but then, I'm out."

She laughed.

My throat closed up. I'd never heard her laugh before. It did not bode well for my future.

She sat down at her desk. She motioned for me to sit. "Do you remember what you signed up for?"

I sat stiffly across from her. My palms started bleeding. I dug my fingers in harder. I nodded. "I don't care. Burn me. Send me away. I can't do this anymore." It was probably the most honest thing I said all day. I couldn't take it anymore, all the lying and the secrets and the hatred over stupid, meaningless fights. We'd done some good. I knew that, but this wasn't what I wanted anymore. This was never really what I wanted, but it was all I knew.

Her expression cooled. She smiled. "We know about, Alex, Ethan. We knew about her the moment you stopped to help her. Do as I ask, or I will bury her."

"She has done nothing to you." Or anyone, ever. She was good, and sweet, and kind. She wouldn't hurt anybody. She had a painfully ordinary life. There was nothing to bury her with.

"It's her word against mine, Ethan. You really think I can't end her life?" She smiled. She knew she had me. "Do we understand each other?"

This, this right here, was why I never should've stopped at that gas station. I ruined everything I touched. "Yes, ma'am."

"Good. Regan has everything we've gathered so far. You will continue all your current ops and pursue this covertly."

Oh, yes. Because I was rolling in free time. On one hand, I wouldn't have time to see Alex anymore. Her life could go back to the way it was before she ever knew my name. She could live her life. On the other, I wouldn't be able to see Alex anymore. Everything I wanted in my life would disappear with her.

I hovered by the door. "Alex has nothing to do with this. Leave her be." I walked out, couldn't take it when she would inevitably say no. It was the only leverage she had over me. There was no way she'd just let it go. I couldn't get Alex out. The moment I told her anything real about my job, she would be bundled off to some safe house faster than I could say, "Mercy." I'd effectively ended her life without even trying.

I grabbed the file from the edge of Regan's desk.

She held onto it, forcing me to stop and look at her. "I'm sorry." She let go, turning back to her computer.

I nodded. I was, too.