"So you want to use me to test some of your...possibly lethal...pranks?" said Richard. He didn't know whether to be amused or annoyed.
"You're almost impossible to kill and we're nowhere near your village so..." shrugged Harry.
"Hmm...good point. My undead army could use a laugh or two. Very well, wait until summer and you can visit my little village on the coast. I can somewhat guarantee no one will eat or dismember you until after I leave!" said Richard with a thumbs up.
"Translation Harry?" asked Fred.
"He runs a village of undead like him, only they don't have unspeakable powers. Instead they maintain the illusion they're still alive, but so far they can't be killed. Ergo, they'd make great test subjects for you and no one will really bat an eye if there is an explosion...or twelve," said Harry.
"Ah. We accept this new offer and hope to cause much chaos once the school year is over!" said George with a salute.
They liked Richard. He livened up their otherwise boring fourth year.
Harry eyed them before asking "Can you keep a secret? Like even from mind readers?"
"We're pranksters," said Fred, as if that explained everything.
"We learned Occulmency before we even came here for second year. Snape kept figuring out it was us even without any evidence to suggest it!" said George.
"Any portraits, ghosts or house elves nearby?"
"If there were, they would have been conveniently gone by the time I showed up. I generally don't discriminate between the living and the dead, and my attacks can hurt the dead,"deadpanned Richard.
"Right. I bet you're both wondering who convinced this undead headache to come here?"
"You kidding? There's a betting pool about who would kill the person who managed to drag him out of whatever questing group was keeping him occupied!" said George.
"McGonagall's in the lead, with Snape and Hermione a close second," said Fred.
"Okay...good to know I should avoid them more-so that usual..." said Harry sweating.
"Wait. Why would you have to..."
The twins stared at Harry.
"YOU brought Richard here?!"
"I wasn't expecting him to be real! I remember Percy mentioning how the DADA post kept having to be refilled because they kept dying off and I'm a major fan of the comic series he's in! I never thought he would actually take me up on the request to teach!"
"I mostly did it because he mentioned something about killing a dark lord with love, and he would rather cause collateral damage to his minions," admitted Richard.
The twins expectantly turned to Harry.
"Dumbledore (Harry said this name with a rolling of the eyes) believes I survived the killing curse because of my mother's sacrifice and that I killed Quirrel last year with love. Naturally after finding out he wasn't entirely dead to begin with I began to think of surviving, which is why I wrote to Richard here and asked him if he would take over the DADA post, since I highly doubt the curse would take him out like everyone else, and I want to, you know, live past my seventeenth birthday."
"...The power of love, seriously?" muttered Fred.
"So you can see why I was willing to gamble on a joke and ask an undead warlock I had only ever read about. Besides, it was either he take the post or some idiot named Lockhart took it," said Harry.
YOU ARE READING
The Greatest Prank
FanfictionBy: sakurademonalchemist Published with permission It was supposed to be a joke letter, but it ended up so much more. Who would have guessed that the 'poster child' of the Light side was a closet Pyromaniac with a distinct inability to care about t...
