Ch 31: The Calm Before The Storm

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Clarissa POV

Feeling depressed after Robin started avoiding everyone one of his girlfriends, I lay on my bed as I wait for later to arrive. Even in my past life, I got depressed just from being separated from my brother for long periods of time, so this was a feeling I was quite familiar with.

But I wasn't the only one with this kind of depression, all the other girls are quite sad about being avoided as well. Sharing this feeling with others was a strange thought to me, because in our past life it was always just me and my brother.

He sacrificed his social life in order to focus on taking care of me, so I made sure to put all of my time to keep him company when I was out of school. Which was to say I didn't have many friends myself outside of school while my brother didn't have any period.

I'm sure he had friends way back then, but he never talked about them after we lost our parents.

It was amazing to me when I compared my big brother now to my big brother from my past life, he really changed to the point where he was almost unrecognizable. It made me happy, and sad at the same time.

We both changed during that time, him more than me. I was in a very dark place after mom and dad died and I relied on video games to help me escape, so I closed myself off from everything and everyone.

But Nathaniel never gave up on me.

Eventually, he saved me from that darkness and showed me the light. I always admired him for being able to remain strong after our loss, but then I started to notice how wrong I was.

He always busied himself with house work and me, and never seemed to care about anything else. This was especially apparent whenever I caught him gazing out one of our windows.

He always had that blank look on, like he was staring at a wall. It was so disinterested, like everything behind the glass was pointless.

It was like looking at a past me.

Then he'd catch me watching and put on a bright smile that wholly filled the dull orbs that looked out the window with life. I was always curious about why he looked that way, but I could never just ask him about it directly.

When I thought about it back then, I noticed that I only ever saw him smile when he looked directly at me. So I set off on a mission to catch him smiling on his own and would sneak around the house to spy on him, and my childish whim quickly took a dark turn.

One night I snuck by his room and I heard him crying through the door. I didn't know why he would do it, just that it wasn't a one off thing. The days after that I would sit by his door at night and listen to him cry wondering why he was so sad, sometimes crying myself. Then in the mornings when I saw him at the breakfast table he was always smiling at me.

It made me so confused at the time but I always smiled back at him without fail. Then at some point I decided to ask if I could sleep with him for just one night, it took a lot of convincing but he eventually caved in and agreed to sleep back to back.

That night was a turning point in my life, and I could remember everything that happened.

I wasn't sure what to have expected at the time, but I sure didn't expect him to start sobbing in the middle of the night even with me right beside him. Eventually I started to tear up too, and I wanted nothing more than to comfort him.

And when I rolled around to face him, I found him already facing me. It was too dark for me to see his face, but I knew he was shocked, even more so when I wrapped my arms around him. He remained still for a few moments, before he started trembling and crying out loud as he clutched tightly onto me.

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