A Guide to Our Love [gxg]

Chapter Four

Alexia

       I stood frozen as Evelynne ran out of the house. I couldn't stop thinking about what she said. Maybe I am selfish for wanting to spend time with her. Was she even wrong to say that?

       I felt my breathing quicken, feeling like I couldn't get any air in. All of a sudden a sob ripped out of my throat. It was loud and painful. My dad was in front of me, pulling me into a hug. He pulled my head into his chest as he moved us to the bed. I don't know how long we sat there. He just held me until the sobs subsided. 

       "Do you think she's right? Would she really be better off without me?" I asked my dad as my breathing began to even out. I felt him stiffen beside me before he responded.

       "No. Don't even think that. She is lucky to even have met you," he stated with such conviction. He almost made me believe him. "She was wrong to say that to you. You have never been anything but good to her. I can talk to her parents if you want? Tell them what happened? Maybe they can talk to her."

       "No. You don't have to do that. It'll just make things worse. But I also don't want to see her for a while. If she shows up, can you not let her in?" I hated to say that, but I needed to start putting myself first. For years I've always put Evelynne before me, even when I was at my lowest. But this time, it stops. "I also think I need to get more help. Not like a mental institution, but somewhere where I can get better."

       "I can look into places like group therapy on top of your regular therapy. Maybe it would be good to be around other people your age you can relate to." 

       "Yeah, that could be good. I'll send you some places to look into." As much as I didn't want to talk about this, I knew it was time to get extra help. I've been feeling like shit for a while and it's not getting any better. Maybe I'll be able to make friends and put myself out there. 

       Evelynne said that she can't spend every waking moment with me, so I'll find people to spend time with. Maybe these people would actually appreciate me and want to spend time with me.

       After my dad had left me alone to do whatever, I started looking into places. I knew I didn't want to go to a place where I would have to stay or be cut off from my dad. I also thought it would be beneficial to be around new people who are more like me. I ended up finding a center where they have groups with people my age who need help too. People have said good things about it so maybe I could give it a try. I sent a link to my dad so he could look at it too. 

       He looked it over and agreed that it seemed like a good place. We called them together to learn a little more about how it works. According to the lady we spoke to, each group is separated by age and experiences, and there are a couple that are just open for everyone. Together we decided that I would go to the 18-15 group that focuses on anxiety, depression, and life problems. The group has sessions every Tuesday and Thursday at 6:30. It worked out pretty well with my soccer schedule so I agreed to go and try it out at least once. 

       I was honestly excited to go. It would be nice to try it and see how it goes. And who knows? Maybe it will be one of the best decisions I've ever made...

Martin

       I was honestly shocked to my core that Evelynne would ever say those things to Lex. Alexia has put everything into that friendship, and I thought Evelynne did too. I guess I was wrong. 

       After I had kicked her out, I heard Lex's breathing start to quicken. I thought it was going to be a panic attack, but she let out a loud, piercing sob that ripped a hole in my heart. I hated to see her like this and I had no idea what to do besides sit there and hold her.

       I was honestly surprised when she said she wanted to get extra help on top of therapy. I was even more surprised that she agreed to look into group therapy. I know she has always had a hard time making friends, and this could be an opportunity for her to get out there. Evelynne had been taking up a lot of her time, and I'm starting to realize that maybe she didn't deserve it.

       The place she asked me to look into was actually really nice. I was a non-profit center that had groups for people struggling. it was free of charge and it seemed to have everything. I think this would be good for her. She would be able to be around kids her age that are going through similar things.

       I have been worrying about her for a very long time. I was going to suggest she get help soon if I didn't see things improve, but she beat me to it. Maybe after this, I'll have to worry a little less.