Absolutely His ✔️

Chapter 45

Ocean

When we arrived at the secret hideout, the night was already covering the sky with its dark veil. Our hideout was deep in the woods, hidden from prying eyes.

Darkness crept among the trees and the cold wind slapped the branches that fluttered under its force.

We entered a wooden log cabin that was larger than I had imagined. Kaden lit a fire and soon after the heat spread through the rooms, warming our tired bodies.

Louis approached me as I sat on the couch, wrapped in a warm blanket.

"Come with me Ocean, I'll show you your room."

I nodded and removed the blanket. As I stood up, I glanced at Kaden, who was leaning against the fireplace, deep in thought, smoldering like flames of fire.

At that moment, Kaden turned his head slightly. Quite a bit, so our eyes met.

His blue and tired eyes shone under the light of playful flames. Suddenly a fear instilled in me that I would never see them again. His eyes.

"This way."

Louis told me and he startled me out of my thoughts. I followed him and after he opened the door for me, I went into my room.

'' You have a clean towel and stuff on the dresser.  Get some rest.''

"Thanks."

I told him quietly and headed for the bed. I sat down slowly, clutching my jacket around me. I took a deep breath and shoved my hand into my pocket.

I looked down and there in my hand, was a stick. With the obvious two red lines that deviated from the white background of the object.

I closed my eyes tightly, trying to stop the torrent of thought that threatened to break down all my dams. One more time.

I bought a pregnancy test at the pharmacy and got tested in the bathroom while I was going to pee.

When I got in the car, the very sight of Kaden broke me. I wanted to tell him. But I couldn't. Maybe he wouldn't even believe me. I've lied to him once before.

But I've had enough of lies. I decided to confess to him tomorrow after they returned from the mission. Now is not the time, as this confession may cloud his mind and he will not be ready to take action tomorrow.

And the risk of something happening to him because of me is unforgivable. I wouldn't forgive myself for that.

I pushed the test back into my jacket and headed for the bathroom. The jet of warm water made me relax a little. I tried to imagine all my problems slipping off me, along with tiny drops of water and going down the drain. Forever.

I got out of the shower and put on the things Louis had brought me. Just when I was about to go to bed I heard light footsteps.

Suddenly they stopped. But the shadow in front of my doorstep stood motionless. Then there were two hesitant knocks on the door.

"Ocean, can I come in?"

Kaden's voice made me wrap my arms over my chest and rest my head on my shoulder. I took one deep breath and opened the door.

His piercing blue eyes stared at me, carrying a plea.

I moved a little to the side and signaled to him with my hands that he could come in. I closed the door and sat on the bed. Without saying a word, he sat next to me too.

I fidgeted with the fingers of my hand, and he stared at his palms. We sat motionless  like that for a few moments, until Kaden spoke.

'' Ocean. . . a lot has happened in the last 24 hours. It didn't help our already complicated relationship at all. "

He turned his head slightly towards me and took my palm in his.

'' Everything we did the previous day was mostly out of a misunderstanding between us. Because of what we hid from each other. "

He gulped and then continued.

"I want you to know that no matter what happens tomorrow, my feelings for you were sincere. I really meant when I said I loved you. Because I really do love you. "

A tear slid down my cheek but this time Kaden's hand reached for my face and wiped it away in one gentle motion.

'' That's why I think it's fair  to let you go. I think you deserve a better life. Calmer life. Better than I can offer you. "

His hand slid down my face, caressing me incredibly gently. I closed my eyes and rested my head on his palm, allowing myself to feel the warmth of his touch once more.

'' Kaden, please. . . ''

'' Shhh. ''

He put his finger to my lips and I kissed them gently as tears caught up with each other.

"Goodbye."

Kaden said and started to get out of bed. I grabbed his arm and he stopped and turned his head towards me.

"Please stay with me tonight."

He looked at me for a few more moments and then without saying a word he came down. I lay down on the bed and he settled down next to me. He reached out and turned off the night light.

We lay facing each other, looking at each other in the darkness that surrounded us.

I ran my index finger over his soft lips and caressed his cheek. I approached him slowly and kissed him gently. He returned my kiss and wrapped his palm around my cheek.

We rested our foreheads on top of each other, taking a deep breath of the air swirling around us.

'' Don't let this be a goodbye. Promise me we'll talk when you get back from the mission. "

Kaden didn't answer anything and his silence aroused uneasiness in me. 

You have to come back, I have to tell you. Kaden, please.

I thought to myself as I waited for his answer.

'' I'm not in a position to make promises babygirl. But never forget that among all the lies we surrounded ourselves with, one was not. And that is my love for you. ''

A silent tear fell on the pillow. Kaden turned me around and hugged me from behind. His hug was gentle but firm enough that I somehow felt safe.

A few more tears soaked my pillow as I slowly sank into sleep. As I wandered between dream and reality, thoughts rang through my head.

Please Kaden come back. You're going to be a father and I want to tell you that tomorrow.