Remy looked beautiful and really cool, actually. With her perfect teeth, perfect hair, perfect face and a perfect body.
She looked perfect.
And I hated it.
I hated that she looked and acted so much like...Mom.
It was quiet around the table before Boogie broke the silence with his voice.
"Cool, Remy looks fun," then he went back to eating his eggs, kicking his legs underneath the table.
Remy chuckled and sighed, almost in a way of relief, "Well, Justin, I hope I can live up to your fun standards,"
Boogie smiled, eggs still in his mouth. I internally rolled my eyes, how did Boogie find this okay? It's only a been a few years after Moms and Dads divorce and then we're just supposed to act like they were never together?
I shouldn't be mad, I know, but how can you tell your own Dad that you can't see him with anybody else but your Mom?
Dad looked over to me for my reaction, "Evie, how do you feel?"
Hurt, betrayed, the list could go on.
I put on one of my fake smiles and nodded, "Couldn't be happier for you,"
***
For the rest of the day I stayed in my bedroom.
I couldn't look at Dad or even talk to him. It wasn't that I wanted him to feel bad for moving on, because that's the furthest thing from the truth.
It just kind-of sucked seeing Dad happy...with someone else other than Mom. Although the divorce never really affected me much emotionally, there was still a lingering thought that just maybe, Dad and Mom, would get back together and things would be normal again.
It was just a thought.
A thought that I hoped came true.
It was late in the afternoon when I heard a knock on my bedroom door. I knew it my Dad without second guessing.
"Come in," I voiced, still slouching on my bed frame.
Dad entered this time wearing the apron, he was originally wearing in the morning. His reading glasses sat perfectly on his head.
"Dinner's ready, it's Chicken Pot Pie." He slowly worded.
I shrugged, "I'll come down in a bit,"
Dad looked at me in a way that showed he knew something was wrong with me but didn't want to push it, "Okay, um, well, don't wait too long before it get cold."
Then he left with the click of my door sounding my silent room.
At that moment, I wanted my Mom. I wanted to hug her and cry and just to tell her to love Dad back.But I knew none of that was going to happen.
So I called the second closest person to me.
***
"So why did you want to talk at Wendy's?" Kelly asked, she was in the opposite booth.
I had told Kelly to pick me up from my Dad's, no questions asked until we got to Wendy's . Dad let me go because I had probably never asked him to go out with a friend before, but still told me to come back by eleven-thirty.
I stirred the chocolate frosty with the straw, "I cant chose Wendy's?'
Kelly shrugged, her eyes focusing on her unclenched fingers on top of the table. I knew everything I had did so far was impulsive, but that's what teenagers do right?
Do impulsive things for fun, all of it seemed so different. So not me.
Breaking my silent treatment streak with Kelly was not on my to do list, but I needed her. Whether I liked it or not.
"I just wanted to say I'm sorry for being all weird lately. I just had a lot going on for me," I voiced, breaking the thick tension between us.
Kelly rolled her eyes at that, "Yeah, yeah, the Milo situations. I think I get it, Evie. You finally get introduced to normal teenage problems and you start acting like a baby. I get it, Evelyn. I get it, for fucks sakes. Incase you wanted to know, I'm going through shit too right now, unnormal teenager shit, but of course you wouldn't know about it because you never asked. You know what? Fuck this shit. Fuck all of it. You can find yourself a ride home,"
And like that Kelly had gotten up from the booth and exited the restaurant. At that moment, for the first time since sixth grade I wanted to cry.
***
Dad had come to pick me up that night from Wendy's. We didn't talk on the way back, and I was glad we kept it like that. Once we got home, I dragged myself into my room and went straight to sleep. I had no strength to even cry, all I wanted to do was sleep.
All throughout Sunday, I stayed in bed unless you counted the temporary trip to the bathroom and kitchen. The feeling of shame and guilt hit me that morning like a punch in the gut. I couldn't believe I made Kelly feel as if she couldn't tell me how she felt, with all my stupid banter about stupid Milo. A dickhead that couldn't care about anyone but himself.
I don't even remember the last time when I asked her how she was in general, it was all my fault. I had decided against texting Kelly throughout the day and planned on doing it tomorrow morning in person.
Although I didn't like what she said to me, a piece me wondered if she was right. I had yet to experience an actual teenage lifestyle.
With the drinking, smoking, partying, dating, sex and everything around it.
Maybe what I need was a good teenage experience to teach me how to deal with my own shit. I quickly scurried out of my bed and pulled out a permission form for the science field trip from my backpack.
Starting from here on out the teenage experience was going to begin. I was going to live impulsively and as wildly as I could. No matter the consequences.
I just should've known it was going to be the worst experience of my life.
